My husband and I are somewhat disillusioned with our church. It was good at first, but seems to be changing. I have no idea where we will go. I just feel that we need to change.

It is a large contemporary church. Here are the reasons we are contemplating the change:

1. I went there for several years as a single person and we have been going there as a couple for more than a year and we know not one soul. That's probably our fault, but they don't allow meetings in the church and you are supposed to make friends at meetings in member homes. I hate church single groups and never wennt. Together we tried a couple of groups, but they disbanded before we made friends and we have just been reluctant since.

2. The preacher doesn't seem to like the congregation. Recently he said the members shouldn't talk to him when he's out with his family and those who disagree with him should email him at craig@doesn'tgiveaflip.com.

3. The sermon is videocast. The preacher is rarely ever there in person anymore. That is okay, but I really miss a human presence.

4. They play loud contemporary music that often does not include the word God or Christ. That may be a small thing, but it is often written by the musicians who I think may want to remain open to a cross over hit which they can do only if they do not mention God's name.

5. Today some of the staff called and wanted me to write devotionals from tapes by the pastor. When I asked how much initiative I would be able to use, they were offended and the guy who called was nice, but made it clear that there would no creativity involved at all. I felt that they needed a typist, not a writer and I said so. Not a good thing to do.

6. There is no one to call if you have trouble or a death or illness. You just get voice mail or something. And certainly no one ever calls you.

I feel herded and not shepherded. Maybe I was hypersensitive. Maybe I was grumpy. Maybe I am not heeding the call of God.

Any ideas?
smile

<small>[ July 26, 2004, 06:12 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]</small>

Smile, sorry but this place sounds more like a bad social club than any church I've ever seen. If these men don't want to preach, hands on kind of ministering they should go do something else. I agree with your feelings, dump this cold place...you'd get more support at your local bar... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Charleen,
You are amazing. You can put more into a few words than anyone I know. You hit the nail on the head. Again.
smile

I agree with Ms C, smiles...

What's the point of going there? You're not learning, growing, or helping...so, this leaves???

I'd run, not walk away from that organization cause that's what it is, an org/business, not a church home.

JJ

Smile,
I agree with Chatty and Jawjaw,
Run as fast as you can to a Church where you feel welcome, loved and included.
Maggie

Smile... Hon, remember John 10:11-16. Jesus said there are shepherds and there are hired men. The hired men do not care for the sheep. They just care for themselves. Sadly, we see them all the time <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> .

Pray for the leader and the congregation. Pray for wisdom and direction as you search for a new congregation to worship with. I pray that God directs you to the right place.

Thank you girls for your concern and advice. I think you are right.
We know no church is perfect and have tried to proceed slowly. We have blamed ourselves rather than face up to the problems. The only way to reach anyone at the church is through the website and when I posted our concerns there I was rather viciously attacked. The staff makes no apologies for its impersonal approach and criticized me for seeking a more personal experience. They pretty much said, "If you don't like our church go elsewhere."
I guess the church is for a younger population that doesn't need or want a personal experience. It is the increasing distaste for the congregation that is most troubling.

I absolutely hate the process of finding a new church and have accepted the problems rather than go through that. I guess we'll try somewhere else this weekend.

Thanks again for the advice and the opportunity to organize my thoughts.
smile

smile, I can relate to what you're going through and I feel for you. I agree with the others that it's time to move on.

What is it that's keeping you there on Sundays? Is it the sermons/service? I'm curious.

We have been faithful members of a traditional Presbyterian church for 19-20 years. At one time I was a part-time employee for three years. I don't recommend working at your church home. Churches have warts that become tumors when you are up close and personal.

I know churches aren't museums for saints, but hopitals for sinners so I'd never expect perfection. We're all human including people of the cloth. I'm sure there's no PERFECT church because we're imperfect people who attend and lead them, but there has to be a happy medium somewhere.

We are floating too and it doesn't feel good. Funny, we've tried a non-denominational church and are so moved by the service that we have a hard time sitting still when we go back to our traditional church.

But something doesn't feel right. We haven't met another soul at the big church. Lots of smiles and hand shakes, but it hasn't gone beyond that. We run into people we know, chat, and carry on, but we haven't taken the initiative to become involved.

What attracts me the most is the sermons/service. I hear the gospel LOUD AND CLEAR and leave there wanting to change. I love that feeling. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I continue to attend my prayer group at our church and still feel a teeny bit connected.

Monday morning while journaling I asked God for guidance and direction in this area. I'll begin to include you and your hubby in that prayer! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> It's time to make a decision and I'm waiting on Him to guide me/us.

A blessing that has come from this is that during this interim time of church home shopping I've been more faithful than ever to read the Bible and journal. I've experienced a spiritual growth spurt in spite of my uneasiness with the institutions of faith.

I think Julie has been going through something similar with her church if my recollection is right.

Let me know what you do this Sunday...

I can't really say what has kept us in this church this long. At first I think we hoped it was what we needed.
Before the sermons became just a big screen event with the preacher no longer physically present, even with the terrible music, we came away with our spirits lifted. Now the sermons are well organized and our intellect is stimulated, but our spirits are unmoved.
The preacher who I can't really call a pastor, because I think pastoring includes more caring, is an excellent speaker. His sermons are quite well organized and intellectually stimulating even on screen.
We have probably simply fallen into a rut. Convenience is a huge factor. They have 14 services each weekend including Saturday night so we can go at 5:30 p.m. Sat., get to a movie, and be home by eleven. Or we can go to one of several services on Sunday up until the last service which is at 6 p.m.
Or if we miss the whole thing, which is rare, we can watch it on TV or the intenet.
Maybe it is the church of the future. Kind of like the drive-in churches of the eighties??
Thank you for your prayers.
smile

This is strange and I know I already said my piece but am also searching for a new church. I went to one last saturday and was shocked at the differences I saw from when I use to attend church. Big, cold, distant etc. Tomorrow, Wednesday at 6:30 PM I am trying a large Christian church near my home to see what they are about. Its like a good comfortable pair of shoes, you try them on till you find one that fits....My time to attend church will be Saturday nights at 6:30 since I'm off on Fri., and Sat., evenings. I hope this one is the one for me....It looks like a place our Lord would be comfortable in...