"well it's not MY fault! I had just delivered wonderful presents to a house in Alabama; strange though, because it was just a lot of Elvis trinkets and oreos, but that's beside the point.... anyway, I was about to head back up the chimney when I felt someone holding onto my pants!!

That scared the living daylights out of me, so I shot up out of the chimney as fast as I could go.... and whoever was in that house still has my pants!"

I shook my head, trying to think who would do such a thing to Santa Claus. A crazed baby boomer woman, no doubt, looking for a man bearing gifts....

Just then, we hear a loud bang and both turned to see...