CHICK

I don't see much change between now and eighty except for trying to get undressed before the mood wears off.

THATS WAAAAYYY toooo funnie for my time of the morning, thanks love
celtic

Celtic,

Oh, yes on the desire -- and response -- later in life!

Surprised me, too. I'm very much surprised and happy about how our bodies still react Post -Menopause!

Anyone thinking that that interest will change after "the" change is going to be pleasantly surprised!

The probems that do arise are ED or - can't think of the name for it - but it means that the vaginal tissue becomes dry and thin.

Thank goodness for new and better drugs!

I just have to get up my nerve to bring this up with someone younger than me. They'll probably wonder what's wrong with me, more than physical. I'm just worried that a new gyn will snicker behind my back. I don't know why this should bother me at my age - I'm much more at home with myself at 58 than I was in my thirties.

The group I go to has at least three women on staff. I've only been there twice, and was "assigned" a man. Maybe I'll just talk this over with the on staff nurse practitioner. I felt comfortable speaking with her about another issue.

Hope I've made the pre-menopausal and menopausal women happy today!

Emily in Maryland, where the snowfall did not get us off of work today

emjay

well you sound a lot more happie about it all today. Find that one you had a good experience with and have a chatt with them about it.....
Tell me how you get on lol i am just awfull generally talking to Doc's but getting better. Hope its a good experience for you...

its just not fair that you have snow fall and still have to go to work lol..

celtic

It helps to look, really look at that person and try to think of what it was that attracted you to them in the first place. Also, it really, really helps to think of yourself as a sexual diva. When you know that you know, everyone else senses it too.

Can't expect to feel the sparks if the sparks aren't really wanted or needed. Sometimes it helps me to look at fashion magazines and imagine what I would look like in some of the clothes. I used to get the acrylic nails, still get pedicures. If I like the way I look and feel about myself, who else wouldn't?

I've been at the grocery store and at work etc and noticed women wearing sandals and they've got that crusty layer of dead skin, sometimes cracked around their heels and their toes look like they've been digging for worms....ugh!

But they'll be dressed to the 9's. Here in FL you notice things like that more because our feet are exposed more. Who wants to kiss toes and get a mouthful??

Men are men, well into their 90's and beyond. Unless their eyesight fails, they live in a fantasy world where every woman is beautiful and sexy.

I try my darndest to love myself and like what I see so that I can walk into a room and a presence follows me. Both men and women notice when I walk into a room. Mom calls it charisma. Some of it is luck, genetics, but most of it is something inside that radiates through your eyes, the way you carry your body, your smile, the way you move, your expressions and the level of intelligence you eminate.

Just some observations over the past 57 years. Some men radiate the same feral, earthy yet sophisticated aura. They are rare indeed! When you find one, don't let him go!!

My grandson'd father says my three daughters and I are irreplacable. I had him define that for me one day. He says that means he goes through women like laundry and has yet to find one like my daughter who is beautiful, intelligent, and has that something more that transcends and makes her stand out above the rest. He doesn't think he will ever find anyone else like her.

I like one of the girls he's dating. I approve of her as a stepmom to Dublin, but who listens to me anyway....

Emyjay...what's going on for you is pretty awful and unfortunatley a common ailment (I imagine 95% physical..5% psychological). I went through some similar difficulties a while after my hysterectomy and a good bit into meno. Firsly, due to embarresment I said nothing to my partner, doc or freind! I researched on the net and took a whole load of suppliments(only some of which helped). I put so much pressure on myself to sort it that I got quite depressed for some time!
I then got to the stage when I could not cope...as this trouble I was experiencing was effecting my partner also...so I bit the bullit and approached my doc.

I couldn't find words to explain what exactly was the 'problem'...and the it just tumbled out and I said....
"I think my tickle button is broken!!!"....the Doc.(lady) laughed hard...so much so that I couldn't help but join in. Once the pressure had been lifted..we set about examining causes and thingsI could do, and things that she as my Doc would do.

With some humour added into the pot and when I told my partner(who could not beleive it !!)...I got my h.r.t fine-tuned and things settled down again.

I hope you find the solutions which will suit you pet.

Popea

Because my OCD kicked in full throttle with this latest move I started seeing a shrink who told me to see a medical doctor about medication. Okay, the meds have really helped my OCD but it has killed my sex drive. Nothing there. The hub is on a lot of meds and doesn't want it anymore either. Then, I watch this doctor on tv who says if you're married but not having sex you aren't really in a marriage. I feel married. I love him very much and he loves me. We're very compatible (outside of this latest upcoming move!) but I still enjoy being held while we fall asleep.

I guess I had to make a choice between a sex drive and OCD.

hi di just poping on for a we read but i thought i would j8st comment on this OCD a really hard disorder to contend with, i don't know the movie that triggered an incrise for you but thats a good way to start. Finding the triggers (external or internal) that worsen the compulsion for you.

meds affect sexule desiree and expression so easily common meds like anti depresents and blood presure tablets etc.

the TV doc might have been talking about couples who dont have sex leaving one frustrated and feeling unloved. Might not necassarily be talking about your situasion but that a lack of intimacy genrilly leands to bad sighns in marrage.

Some people dont know how to get or be intimate exept for sexule. They don't credit emotional or mental intimacie to promote well being withn and between couples. Sex being the only expresion of love or affection, then thats all they have. if you have diffrent expresions of love and affection and both of you are having emotional needs meet in othrways then whats wrong with that? How many couples do you know that have an absolutly horrendise relashionship, fight arguee are abusive to each other genuinly abusive but they have sex thats good therfore think they have a good relashionship....with no meeting of needs emotions or hart.

i think it takes more than just sex for a relashionship to be good, loving and intimate.
I wouldn't be too down on yourself to the point that some TV doc deems you not to have a marrige due to no sex.
If its distressing you or your partner then thats a diffrent matter...
OCD, you probebly have but have you tried behavioural theripies, 12 steap programs....Sometimes meds are needed for flaire-ups or acute times but at other times programe or theripie may be enough...

anyway good luck working it out for yourself, and hopefully you aint pulled about by public presure or oppinion...

oh TANTRA i love it as a religion and a philosiphy but unfortunitly its genrally only known becouse of its connection to sex, cheek it out, its much more than just about sex and its a spiritule disapline, using the energies between two people to work as a gateway to the devine or spiritule experiences, honerring the devine within one another and incressing mental, emotional, spiritual conectivness between people...

gotta go gotta go lol gotta good chat soon.
celtic

I do not believe that sex is what constitutes a marriage. That doc was full of baloney. I agree with Celtic - if one person is unhappy with the situation, a problem will arise. Otherwise, why should it?

My grandparents slept in twin beds all their married lives and had a great marriage. I really doubt they had much of a sex life, but they did have lots of love.

The hub and I looked at each other after watching this doctor and kind of shrugged our shoulders. "Guess we don't have a marriage." But, we do. He's the first man I ever truly respected in my entire life! I love his amazing business mind, dry wit, and the ability to turn a problem around quickly rather than drag it through emotional weeds.

I've been using some techniques for the OCD. Stress of any kind seems to kick it into full gear so the shrink is helping me to use different exercises to help with the stress. It's such an irritating disorder!