Some might say we're still on our honeymoon...we'll be married 2 years in March. We're both in our 50's and I can truthfully say that I have more meaningful, satisfying sex now than when I was younger. When I was younger I was under pressure to be skinny, wear the sexiest underclothes and clothes...and the sex wasn't real to me at times...true intimacy, for me, was missing so much of the time. I always felt I was the one who had to perform in order to keep my husband from roaming. Nothing I did prevented that and each husband cheated on me. When I finally did find the man who is on the same wave length as me concerning sex ...wow...what a difference. And, too, he's completely different in every way. Finding the right man helps, which I had to learn the hard way. When I married my soul mate almost two years ago I wasn't the skinny, long-haired, deer-in-the-headlight fool I'd been for so many years. I was smarter, knew what I wanted and expressed what I would and would not do in a relationship. And despite trying to stay within a reasonable weight, found that no matter what I was going to carry a few extra pounds along with wrinkles, gravity and everything else that goes with getting old. Because my husband and I have so much love and respect for each other I'm enjoying sex for the first time in my life...really, really enjoying it. There are no weird demands put on me ...just normal, intimacy that we both feel comfortable with. I won't give away any secrets but yesterday I'd just gotten over being really sick the day before and was feeling kind of tired but pretty much back to my old self. I was dressed in old jeans, an old shirt and walking around in lime-green house socks. I was wearing makeup because we'd gone Christmas shopping earlier in the day but I looked anything but dazzling. My husband had a lie down because he was tired and as I walked toward our bathroom I looked back at him and caught him looking me up and down. (you women know that look...the one that says he's in the mood). I went into the bathroom and came out and leaned against the door frame wearing nothing but a smile. Despite how I know I look (the belly, wrinkles, skin heading south, etc.) his face lit up like a Christmas tree. I said to him, "You look at me as if you've just won the lottery." He got this big grin on his face and said, "Just look at you. I did win the lottery." That's all it took for me to become putty in his hands and always will be as long as he keeps looking at me that way.
Will my husband ever cheat on me? He says not. He knows what will happen if he does and I find out about it. He loses this lottery ticket. I truly believe that he's the kind of man who will not. As far as talking about our intimate needs, we know each other so well that we don't really have a need for that. What we do now at our age is keep sex spontaneous...like me appearing in a doorway naked when he doesn't expect it. Or when he comes home from work I'm on the bar wearing only a smile and holding a glass of ice tea. When I see that smile on his face I know I've just made him forget about work and any problems he might have had on his mind before walking through the door. If I had to talk to him about any intimacies I could, but with us we just don't have that need. We know what turns the other on. I'm lucky in that way.
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Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards