You might remind them (publishers) how many hits this site gets per day and that we all have money to buy a book or three if we want to....how would you market your book, INDEED!!!

Since I wasn't posting on these boards during the time this subject was first discussed, I'd like to revisit the topic of later in life intimacy.

My husband and I have always had a great sex life, until he ruptured a spinal disc. We had to resort to alternate methods of keeping our intimate life alive, before and after he had surgery.

Now, I seem to be suffering from vaginal dryness or worse. Basically, it's painful for me. I feel embarrassed about discussing this with my new gyn.

Has anyone on this board had this problem? I'm 58, but still very much interested in keeping our sex life alive.

Emily in Maryland

You can buy vaginal suppositories for this problem. I think it's just a case of hormones changing.

Oh, Emily, I can so relate. All the OTC lubricants have not worked for me. And D, with his parkinsons, has his own set of problems.

In other words, you are not alone.

We schedule our sex life now. D takes his little blue pill and I use a prescription vaginal cream. It is better, but not as great as either of us would like.

For spontaneous sex, we also use alternative methods and enjoy those times quite a bit.

Anno,

Someone told me that this vaginal shrivelling (I know there is a medical term for this)is best treated with a prescription hormone cream.

Lubricants aren't working in my case, either. It helps, but it's just become too painful for me.

It just crossed my mind: my grandparents were probably still having sex when I stayed with them! No one ever told me that I'd still have a desire for intimacy this late in life.

I'm going to go to a woman gyn. Maybe the prescription cream would help. I just can't discuss this with the male doctor I currently have. Just cannot.

Alternative methods are nice and I enjoy just being close to my husband, but it would be nice to actually have intercourse. Maybe not every time we're intimate, but at least on holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions!

Emily in Maryland

I completely agree with you Emily. I still enjoy the idea of intercourse, but without the pain. I do go to a female doctor, would not have it any other way. Only a female can completely understand our issues.

A while ago, my dad (in his 80's) was talking with my partner, Dennis, complaining that his prostate cancer was interferring with his sex life. This is what I want for us - a sex life well into our 80's and 90's. Sounds like you do, also.

Ann

I don't completely understand all the medical issues surrounding sex in later life, but I'm 57 and have gone through different stages of sexual "interest".

My husband and I have many problems but sex isn't one of them. I find that desire wakes the 21 yr. old up in me. I respond just like I did when I was 18 but better because of the experience I've gained over the years.

So much of sex is in the mind. Frankly, my husband turns me on and wakes up all the primal desires a woman can have. Our sex is wild abandonment and completely satisfying. I know he has the blue pills but says that he no longer needs them with me.

Many times I come home with my bra or thongs in my purse..
Varying the places you enjoy eachother and the outfits or nothing you wear, the language you use, the toys you use, etc can make a big difference.

Sex is in the mind and heart and everything else seems to follow. My doctor is amazed at my interest in sex....then I see him at the local bar and wonder is he smirking or smiling????

ps. My husband and I have sexy videos and photos of each other on our cell phones. During the day if I want to be reminded of that part of our relationship, I can view the video and can't wait to get home to see him again.

We watch movies and cook together and go to functions, etc. but that part of our lives is amazing to both of us. Even if and probably when our marriage ends, I for one, will still hold very fond memories of our times together as man and wife and the sweetness of it.

We don't have any sex toys or videos or even sexy longerier...lingerer....clothes.

He can be in the lazy boy in his red longjohns and I can be here in my white cotton nightgown. When I am in the mood, I just say "Honey it's time to break out the Kentucky Jelly."

I don't see much change between now and eighty except for trying to get undressed before the mood wears off.

(That'd be KY Jelly for those who didn't get it.)

chick

ENJAY
anno and di thanks
i don't have the problem your chatting about but its good to heer it being chatted about, it would be a really tough one to go to any doc about male or female....

but do you know what i think is really the sweetest thing...Emjays comments about, no one telling us i would still have sexule desireee this late in life.
I had always asumed that i'd have desire for connection and intimacy (emotional)but haden't though about the sexule aspect of it and when (or if) it would disaperar....its great to hear that for some folks its up till their 80's and 90's Anno your dad "rocks" for having that chat with D.

well ladies you just lightend my hart a bit....thanks, i have a lot to look forward too for a long time yet..

celtic