Moving away from my son and Mom is not a bad idea, but this is a complicated situation. My Dad depends on me. I know his health would really fail if I moved away. My children, the younger two, would not want to leave their friends and they are starting to see more of their Dad these days. So, we have to be creative. My boyfriend makes quite a bit more than me, but I have been supporting myself and my children for the past 10 years and have a good job here. I think the plan is to visit more often for now. When we do visit he always takes me to resorts and we go out to restaurants etc. This is great but not very realistic. We need to spend time together, but also with each other's children. Get to know each other when we are working too, not just on vacation. Although I do love him, until I spend time with him in a more realistic setting I can't even consider moving. Also, I love where I live which is another problem. I moved away from where he lives 18 years ago for greener pastures. If it is meant to be we will work it out. For now, we need to take some more time.
It's a nice thought Hannelore and I know where you are coming from.
Kate

I would rather die than marry the same creep. I have been divorced from Earl (Dianne told you his name)since 2001, and still can't shake him loose entirely. He is a scourge on my life and I am working 18 hours a day to build a business so I can give him the old heave-ho, completely. I may send him bag and baggage to my dear friend Dianne, she likes him...and he's from Minnesota originally...

kate, I respect you for putting your teen first. They will be gone before you know it.

Well, I'd marry husband #1 again and not be so stupid. I'd skip #2 and #3. But #4??? Absolutely! I feel so much gratitude for him every day.

Wo Casey! Four Hubby's'?! Takes quite a woman to survive that! So glad the fourth one is finally the right one for you!
Actually my husband is like 4 different men. He has so many sides to him; good and not so good. So I might as well stay with him, and just stick to his good sides. He is such a gentle loving grandfather. Makes me love him more.

i have enjoyed reading thse and the views, in my head instead of putting husbands in iv been mentally doing long term relashionships, (i might of married them if i could have, scarry lol)

but there that point that i hadent thougt of (hannilore just made it) that they then become fathers and if lucky grandfathers....

would anyone have picked there husbands for their fathering abilities.......have i said that right?

celtic_flame

hmmmm now i am thinking, hmmmmm

I have been married to the same man for 25 yrs. I was a teenager who got pregnant and felt at that time I had no choice. He turned out to be a very hard man but because of the times and my family situation I was trapped. Or so I thought at the time. My twenties were hell. By the time I hit my thirties I learned how to avoid him. (scheduled work and school when he was home) I didn’t see much of him then we would just pass each other on our way in or out. He is a good provider, not an alcohol or drug abuser and is a good father. The kids are close to him especially the boys. So I stayed and as he got older he changed for the better. But its too late. I do not want to be married to him and wish I never had. Now I’m in my forties, my youngest moved out on his own and I’m outa here. My mind is filling up with all these plans and finally this year its going to happen. I will keep you posted.

The first marriage when I was barely 18? Yes, only because if it weren't for that marriage I wouldn't have my oldest daughter, and she is a jewel! Oh, and I wouldn't have her three children as grandchildren....couldn't take that! Her dad was abusive and horrible...he cheated on me with my best friend.
#2...was married to for 21 years after only knowing him for 6 weeks! If it weren't for him though, I wouldn't have my middle daughter and her two sons or my youngest and her two children... He was an abusive rage-acholic who cheated.
#3...even though he was intelligent and artistic..a wonderful man...probably not. Our sex life was terrible and he had a hidden side that not many people knew of. (into whips and chairs...leather) My children all loved him and so did I, but probably not.
#4...is a total asshole. He is the most selfish, self centered human being I've ever met. He is an alcoholic who is critical and looks out for number 1 and that's himself. He is a liar and a cheat...his latest escapade was to pay a 35 yr. old hooker for two months, try to get out of taking me on a cruise with him and take her instead, then when I went, talked about pushing me over the side of the ship and rented a cabin with a deck on the far end of the ship!!! One night I had to lock myself in the bathroom of the cabin because I feared for my safety.
I don't think there will ever be a good man for me. I don't think that man exists. I'm just weird and excentric, I guess. My biggest fault is that I love too much and am too hard to match....the Match.com computer blew a fuse with me. I would get 1 email every 3 months...lol

I Did!! Fool that I am.... and I can tell you it was the third biggest mistake I ever made. Mistake #1 - Divorcing my first husband and father of my children. Mistake #2 Marrying my second husband the first time. Mistake #3 Marrying him again!!!!!!. The third time around has turned out to not be so charming. I'm always thinking about, and on the verge of leaving.

Sometimes i am on the fence. One day I will not want to see him and the other days we will have wild, romantic, "sexy time" together. I would definately do it again!