Bah, I too want to add a warm welcome to this "home away from home". Sounds like you need a safe, warm place to come and just be...that's who we are and hope to be for you. There's a rich wealth of wisdom and caring here, so I hope you make yourself at home. Lots of shoulders to lean on, and lots of caring listening presence here, so you're not alone anymore...we're here to love you through this.

Thank you all so very much. I woke up to your kind words and it brought tears to my eyes. I just needed to know someone cared even if it was total strangers! I have never aired such things in public much less to people I didn't know. Yes...I feel like by heart is so broken that it should have killed me but WOW! it didn't. And yes, I will survive.

Next weekend my husband is coming here to see his kids. I decided to make reservations and am treating myself to a weekend at a hotel in Sedona Arizona (very, very beautiful place filled with good vibrations). So think of me sitting on a balcony overlooking the beautiful red mountains with a cocktail shaker and cosmo fixings on Friday night!

Oh I also signed up to start culinary school in January!

Thanks again and you all seem to be such wonderful people. Maybe I am finding some new friends!

Bah, you really sound courageous! I'm inspired by how you're choosing to "dance in the darkness". Your weekend in Sedona sounds like the perfect way to treat yourself. And culinary school...wow, I can't tell you how often I've thought about taking culinary courses and never did. Like I said, you're an inspiration.

And yes, we are a rather wonderful group of women, and the more you hang out here, the less "stranger" we are (although, notice I didn't say the less STRANGE we are ) and the more "friends" we become.

As in...Scottsdale Culinary School?

Yes, that would be the one!

Bah, I just wanted to add my welcome! I don't think you are stupid for expecting your husband to honor his vows the way you did. You trusted him because you are trustworthy and you expected the same from a man you committed your whole being to. We are not supposed to spend our marriage keeping an eye on each other to make sure the other isn't cheating. He will regret his actions someday, but in the meantime, you enjoy all those things you are doing. I've heard Sedona is beautiful and culinary school sounds like a great adventure.
BTW - I heard a George Strait song this morning that I had never heard before. It started out with a man telling his wife he was leaving her and you think he is about to say that she fell aprt. But then he is talking about all the things she did with her new freedom and it made me laugh out loud, in the car, by myself!! Sounds like he was singing about you. You go, girl!!

Bah, I hope I didn't sound unsympathetic, because I am not. It's just that my husband and I will be married 25 years on Dec. 24th., and I am looking for more freedom. Not that I want him to be unfaithful and leave me, but I do fantasize about what it would be like to be on my own...I never have been.

WOW!!! Almost soul sisters! December 24th!

I just am so shocked that another human being could do this to someone (me)...I am a good person, never, ever been unfaithful in any way. I guess if I looked into my gut, just lonely right now because truthfully, don't want to be with someone like him.

I had to go into Mayo Clinic for a biopsy last week and it was full of old couples holding hands and helping each other. I just felt so alone and realized that I was going to be alone doing all this alone. And then I realized, if I learn to love myself more after all this that maybe alone isn't quite so bad!

As the saying goes, your born alone and die alone.. If someone happens to come along during the in-between times, enjoy but I think I have to work on being comfortable in my own skin, no matter how old!

Feeling alone is understandable. But you know what Bah? I feel alone most of the time, with my husband. We are so different so I don't usually feel connected with him, in the soul. So it's like being alone...
You have a good attitude about things, though. I have been learning the same thing (it must come with age!)about not looking for happiness in someone else. You DO have to be comfortable in your own skin!
I am in southwest CO. I wonder how far apart we are? (mileage wise).
I am so glad you've joined us here!

Bah, welcome to the site. I am so sorry you're going through a bad time. It seems to me that you have your head on straight and just have to allow your heart to heal enough to catch up. It takes time and there's no easy way around it.

I second Eagle's suggestion of a support group. I attended a divorce support group at my church for a while and the people met afterwards to socialize a little. It's a great way to make a new friend. There are also secular groups which meet in other places.

It takes a while to be comfortable being alone. When I first divorced, I felt miserable when I stayed home alone, and if I went out with a girlfriend I still felt miserable. It's a perfectly normal feeling and most, if not all, divorced people go through the same thing.

And of course we are here for you.....although realize sometimes we have obligations at home and can't make it to the forum for a period of time.

Please get a GOOD attorney! Protect your future.

Daisygirl