I used to be in a small church where the pastor's wife was extremely jealous of me. If looks could kill I'd be a dead woman for sure. I wish I would've asked the question you asked Chatty. I found a more single-friendly church and the singles are treated like regular people there!

One time my church had a singles gathering where people came from all over the city. Our church was the host, so I made sure I talked to everyone who was standing around by themselves. Wrong move. There are very needy people in singles groups and a couple of the men mistook my friendly kind attitude as a come on. I was only being social..... The sad thing is that I had to stop being nice to men in the singles group.

A pastor's wife was jealous? Wow, she better change that with her line of duties. That's bad!

I had a woman accuse me of being jealous...of her! I think she had a screw loose. Nobody liked her. I just said, "Really?" It was too stupid to even get upset about.

Hannelore,

I have to join you in the flirting...I am a flirt...but I flirt with men, women, children and pets...I do however know the difference in flirting and coming on...I stay away from the come-ons...it's not so much what they say, as the way they say it...the look in their eyes...yuck...but I do love some innocent flirting...

Yes, Jane, I think it's just how we interpret flirt.

Actually all I was saying is; I love compliments. It doesn't matter who gives them. They make me feel giddy and warm inside; whether it comes from a child, a wagging dog's tale, or a sleazy salesmen. I'm not picky.

I had a very strict upbringing. My parents had the "old school" attitude, don't compliment or praise too much, she may get a big ego.

Has anyone else become more self confident the older you get?

I was extremely shy, inhibited, and self-conscious. I know now that that characterization evolved from my upbringing. When I opened my own real-estate office, I discovered that I can be independent, confident and assertive. Those three words were words I associated with others, but never myself.

Wish I were that way earlier in my life, but I'm relishing this time all the more. I guess that's why I'm more outgoing and receptive to compliments. Giving and accepting them makes me feel good, especially if I know they are sincere.

Don't you think that the older we get the less we actually care what anyone else thinks about us. We know who we are and what we'reabout. We have learned our limits, likes and dislikes and are pretty well set in oiur ways. Like with men, at my age, its my way or the highway. I think we just learn to relax and are comfortable with who we are.

Hannelore, yes I have become more self-confident with age and I attribute it to my relationship with Jesus Christ and all that He wants for me, and to my husband who makes me feel so loved. When you feel built up, it's hard to be put down. I was raised Catholic and it was considered conceited to feel this way, however, I beleive God wants us to feel full of him, totally loved and almired, and then to give him the glory for our spiritual WELL-being.

I appreciate your posts so much.

And yes chatty, midlife is the best life!

I know I'm more confident as I get older...I think it has to do with the 'now or never' attitude...when I was young I thought I could do it later...now it's later and I don't want to look back with regret...also I have enough success in my life to give me more confidence for the future...

Well are you ready for this? Last night about 9:30 PM there was a knock at my door and it was the EX. He just bought a shiny new 2007 silver automobile and he wanted to show it off. I went out to take a look and there in the front seat was a woman looking all scared or embarrassed, couldn't tell which. I am so cool ladies, I said to her, all smiles, "I've just finished a dozen mini apple pies, they're hot and I have cocoa brewing, would you like to come inside for a snack?" He said quickly,(not allowing her to answer.)"No we have places to be." I never did comment on his stupid car. But I bet he had a problem explaining my being so SWEET, when you know he's told her what a B-witch I was. Ha,ha, Gotcha!

Your ex had some nerve showing up the way he did and for whatever reasons he did, huh? Reverse tactics. Always works. Way to go, Chatty!!!

What a great topic. I have learned alot from you all. Like many of you, I am also aware of my growth in confidence as I have grown older and I love this age.

I wouldn't say that it's that I don't care what others think about me as much as the fact that I like myself more than I used to and that maybe I have become more aware that everyone is trying their best to get through whatever it is that they are trying to deal with and if that makes someone look down on me for some reason it's due to where they are in life.

I believe people come into our lives to teach us - or for us to teach them something - so I try to focus on what I can teach others (or learn from others) rather than on how or what they are doing.

Dotsie, you always say things that make me think.. thank you. You mentioned that you were raised Catholic and that it was regarded as conceited to like yourself.... that hit such a huge place in my heart as I realized that this was how I was raised as well. Isn't that funny... thinking well of yourself is bad.... what a wonderful world if we all grew up to believe we were wonderful... why not....

Thank you for coming into my life...
Donna