This is my first Christmas single - surprisingly it has been very hard. If I could have gone to sleep about a month ago, and not woken up until Jan 2nd - I would have been thrilled.

Instead, I have to go with the flow - the tears - allowing them to come at the odd times that they come.

It surprises me that Christmas has been so hard - I've gotten through my birthday, my un-anniversary, and thanksgiving with flying colors.

I am just grieving the loss of the person I thought was my best friend -- the father of my children....my life partner.

He will be here tomorrow with us as the kids open up their presents, have lunch with us - then he will go home. It is just so damn sad.

Please say a little prayer for my family - my daughter is worried how tomorrow will go - I know it will be ok - as long as I don't get sad while he is here.

Hugs,
danita