We have nice conversations on her up days and when she turns negative, I just get quiet. I don't respond to her. That's the only way I know how to handle it since she'll go off on me and a huge fight will take place. I don't think it's PTSD. It doesn't have the markings.

I don't know, Anne. I always had the same problems when I was younger. PMS included! It was awful and I ended up getting a hysterectomy.

Dianne, is it possible to have someone with you when your daughter comes by; a friend or relative? Maybe then your daughter will act differently; hopefully hold her anger back, and at the same time you get some moral support.

I know there are issues here that I don't really understand. But no matter, I think no person has the right to make another person's life miserable just because she or he is miserable. You can sympathize with the person, and feel with them, but as soon as that person, no matter who it is, lashes out at you and treats you cruelly, then the first instinct should be to protect yourself and close the door on that trouble maker. I think you're doing that. Bravo.

The only person would be my husband. The last time I saw her was in AZ and I had my granddaughter (18-years old) my DIL and her sister. She was still cranky. She was bent because her sister wouldn't drop every thing and drive her up North. Well, her son was having surgery so she couldn't. Still, she was never able to see why her sister had to put her son first. It's like the world owes her.

I should add that she's had problems at every single place she's worked. Always strife with other employees for one reason or another. Maybe she felt she could act this way and just quit when things got rough because I'd be there to help out financially. I refuse to do that anymore so she's had no choice but to stay where she's working now. Doesn't stop her from complaining about it though.

Dianne, I am wondering about the pms and excessive periods also. My sister recently had a hysterectomy and before that she was feeling depressed and down for a long time. She also gained weight. She tried anti-depressants but they didn't help. A couple of weeks before her surgery, the was given a blood transfusion because she had lost a so much in her 3 week long periods. The next day she was herself again, barking orders so much her husband joked that he was thinking about taking her back. She actually likes her co-workers now.

We might be onto something here. I'm going to ask her if she's still going to the doctor, etc. It would be so nice to have a happy daughter.

Thank you, Anne.

I have learned in my long life that it is as more upsetting to me than to the person I am angry with, so I chose not to be angry. Instead I just walk away from people that are toxic. I will try to help first, make nice but if they aren't having any of that, I simply move on, find people that are rational and act like adults, not spoiled tantrum throwing children. That has worked well for me and keeps my disposition a pleasant one...

Very wise, Chatty. The angrier another one gets, the quieter I become. I've learned that through age. Maybe that saying is true; the older you get, the wiser.

Thought about this post last night or rather in the A.M. hours and after reflecting on what I wrote, not wanting to sound glib, I realized it might be harder when its our own children we are talking about. I made the decision twelve years ago to not walk away, but to send my son away from me until he chose to stop his drugging. I put my anger/dissappointment on the back burner and calmly asked him to leave my home....With my son my anger was replaced with sorrow.