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#94072 - 11/02/06 09:52 AM Angry people
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Do you believe some people are angry because they want to be? Nothing seems to make them happy for very long. Is it a choice or can they be helped? I'm starting to feel that my youngest daughter will never be happy.
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#94073 - 11/02/06 10:08 AM Re: Angry people [Re: Dianne]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
I don't know if it is because the choice they make is "better" but I do know people who have been so miserable for such a long time that it is a way of life with them.

They have become so "comfortable" with their misery that living outside of it (i.e., being happy) would be stepping out of their comfort zone and you know how scary that can be to some people.

Also, living in anger and discontent CAN BE a habit. Just like making up your bed in the morning. Once a person falls into that "habit" of being angry all the time, they just subconsciously continue...They have literally trained their minds to think "this is a normal way for me to behave."

At least that is Dr. Jaw Jaw's theory.

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#94074 - 11/02/06 11:42 AM Re: Angry people [Re: jawjaw]
Vicki M. Taylor Offline
Member

Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 2196
Loc: Tampa, FL
It's a good theory, JJ.

I don't think any of us wake up one morning and say "I'm going to be angry today."

I believed it's a learned reflex or attitude. I don't think it's inherited or there is an "anger" gene.

Like JJ said, some people are so comfortable wrapped up in their anger, that to try anything else, would take them outside their comfort zone, probably to the point of having an anxiety attack or panic attack.

Can anger be "unlearned".. I think so. With a lot of congnitive behavior therapy.
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#94075 - 11/02/06 12:07 PM Re: Angry people [Re: Vicki M. Taylor]
Mountain Ash Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 3027
My belief is that sometimes its too painful to be sad and in some people they bacome mad (angry)
this observation is backed up in T.A.
I have worked with many young people and once they turn the corner become their own sweet person.

Mountain Ash

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#94076 - 11/02/06 02:17 PM Re: Angry people [Re: Mountain Ash]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
May I ask how old is your daughter?

Hannelore

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#94077 - 11/02/06 03:59 PM Re: Angry people [Re: Edelweiss]
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Someone once told me that you can get addicted to anger. When you get angry, your body produces alot more adrenalin and you actually get hooked on the rush. This was not a professional who told me but someone who has been in therapy on and off for over 20 years.
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#94078 - 11/02/06 05:22 PM Re: Angry people [Re: Bluebird]
Anno Offline
Member

Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 4434
Loc: Minneapolis Minnesota
I completely believe that anger is a habit and addictive, in the sense, it is how they know to behave and respond. For some, the very angry, I believe therapy is best. For others, there are many opportunities for self-awareness and self-improvement.

Motivation to change is necessary no matter what. Simply knowing that you want to live a different life may be enough motivation for some. First she needs to determine what she is getting out of being angry all of the time. She can then find other ways to get this need met.

So sorry she is so unhappy.
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#94079 - 11/02/06 06:45 PM Re: Angry people [Re: Anno]
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
She's 34. A very beautiful young woman but not on the inside. I used to go out of my way to make her happy and I realized it was just to get rid of my tension. I don't do that anymore.

She upset her brother when she visted him and his wife and new baby. She didn't talk and rarely held the baby and she's a baby lover too.

I've thought of talking to her but she scares me in a way. I don't like to be yelled at and I don't like anger. I've had too much of that in my life. But, I think she uses her anger to make others back off. She once told me she enjoyed being a b****. I think that's awful and sad. I have gone off on her when I can't take it anymore. I can only deal with so much. I'm exhausted.
_________________________
If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice.
www.eadv.net



Boomer Queen of Shoes

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#94081 - 11/02/06 08:28 PM Re: Angry people [Re: ]
Anonymous
Unregistered


Dianne, when did the anger begin? What was the initial cause? I wonder if her enjoying being a b**** is b/c the anger is a barrier to her vulnerabilities? I've felt that way.

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#94082 - 11/02/06 08:48 PM Re: Angry people [Re: ]
Sadie Offline
Member

Registered: 10/08/04
Posts: 1274
Loc: MD
I thought angry people were very unhappy people and they have a pinched look on there faces . My mother's cousin looks that way a nasty angry look all the time . What makes unhappy people , I am not sure . Life does not go the way it should for them or in my case my mother's cousin I found out of jealous of me. Too Bad ! I say .

Any other ideas , I gave my thoughts on this .

Renee
_________________________
Courage is very important
Like a muscle, it is strengthened by use .

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