If he is over 18, no they won't contact me. I got my ex to call the druggy house he was staying at and sure enough he is still there. He didn't answer but his druggy friend told him his Dad was asking for him and that is all it took for him to start up with his begging for food, money etc. He called me from his Dad's house today with the excuse that he wanted my Mom's new tel number. I gave him the number and said good-bye. I did not ask him anything just said good-bye and hung up. Called my Mom later and she said he gave her the old victim story about how no one in the family will help him. What kind of family abandons their own etc. He did not like her answer and hung up on her. I called my ex later just to see how it went (I don't want to talk to him) and he said he got the same story and my son told him that he is going to treatment in five days. Two weeks ago he told me he was going to treatment in five days. He just tells us that so he can manipulate us and get money etc. He told his Dad that he was going to come over to my house and my ex told him that I would call the police so that would not be a good idea. My ex also told him that we are all terrified and need to be left alone, he's done enough damage. He left his Dad's without the sympathy he was looking for.
So far, I have not heard from him again but I know I will. I will discuss with my therapist how to proceed, a good reason to see her. The counselling place I go to is especially for addiction type problems. My son went there for a while with me a couple of years ago. To help myself I did some research on some addiction sites and they said don't get into arguments with them, give them advice etc. as things will just escalate. Just tell them you know they will make the best decision for them and change the subject. Good advice. I have decided that I will not talk with him, meet with him (for now) unless we are in the company of a therapist, counsellor etc. When we are together things escalate quickly and I cannot afford to do this for my mental health, his, and my other two children. I'm learning, slowly but learning.
Kate