I just read over my original post and your responses. In hindsight he should have never come to my house. Things have just gotten worse and worse. My son only got out in November and it feels like two years. I did write that I had to ask him to leave in December as he was just spinning his wheels and basically not working on getting into treatment. The only reason I let him stay here is because he said he was going to treatment. Back to his old manipulating ways.
He moved in with a friend when I kicked him out and his friend got him work but he screwed that up by sleeping in and getting fired. He made $100 per day and blew it all. Now just got evicted from his friends house for not paying his rent. His only friend is now getting tired of his behaviour and doesn't want to help him anymore. Plus he borrowed money from lots of people and can't pay it back. They will beat him up soon if they don't get paid. He wants me to help him financially and let him stay at my house again. Says he will go to treatment.
I told him that he cannot stay here and to go to a shelter. I realize that the shelter is not a great option as it is a dirty scary place, but he will get food there, a mattress for the night and the Salvation Army will help him to find a place, get him welfare until he gets another job, help him get counselling etc. His response. No fffffing way.
I'm not a bum, I don't go to shelters or the Salvation Army. Let me stay at your house. My response, no. So he came over to my house. I had been sweeping the front doorway and left the door unlocked. He just barged in, helping himself to food, the computer, said let me stay here. I told him to leave and the chaos began. Him screaming at me calling me the B word, the C work, said I'm retarded, mental, unstable etc. etc. A barrage of abuse followed. He then told me I would be sorry as he was going to kill himself and it would be all my fault. He has said this before. Went on saying stuff like what kind of a mother am I turning away her own son. It went on and on. I told him he had to leave or I would call the police. He asked me to drive him somewhere and I did just to get rid of him but asked him to promise not to kick my car as he had done in the past. He said he wouldn't but when I dropped him off at his friends (I had suggested to him to go back to his friends and try to work something out) He got out of the car, yelling and screaming at me kicked my car repeatedly, punched my window trying to break it. Of course I drove off.
I am putting two and two together now. For the past few months I have been getting more and more depressed. I am not connecting with my kids and just go home from work, veg out in front of the TV and avoid life. I still go work out 5 times a week as it helps with stress but that's it. I couldn't figure out why my youngest son was so angry, he's changed. Now it all seems so clear. He started changing and acting out when he knew my son was getting out of jail.
I need to do something before our entire family falls apart. I am even thinking of moving which would be a drastic step but I don't think my son is going to change anytime soon if ever. He is so self involved. He only calls when he wants money and never acknowledges birthdays etc. It was my daughters birthday on Saturday and I asked him to at least say Happy Birthday to her and he said he's too stressed out as he's now homeless. It's all about him. I'm calling his probation officer today to asked for a no contact order. I need to distance myself from him and fast.
Kate