Dianne, I am curious as to why there was a struggle in regards to the word "vagina." I recall reading the word "crotch" and wondering why that word was used. I usually associate "crotch" with male anatomy. Nancy, there are 2 books that literally changed my life. One was "The Artist's Way."

Dotsie,
lol if you loved it, why did you put it down?

Dianne, this also stuck way out to me and I LOVED that you put this in there. Most people either don't know or dont realize that being surrounded by negativity can only cause a lot of doctor visits and sleepness night, days and always.
I have to REALLY watch this as my biological family has moved to Missouri...crazy huh? I came to get away and here they all are again...geesh my god sure does have a sense of humor.

Anyway I ALSO ABSOLUTELY LOVED Chapter 23 on the Children as I don't know about you but I made sure that I did everything possible to get better so #1 they wouldn't become abusers ( I raised two sons alone)
#2 I never wanted them to end up in Therapy and groups because of my being their mother. #3 I did everything in my power to learn to be a good listener, friend, parent and role model. Every thing I didnt have, I gave them and I can say that if you asked me the one right thing I did my life, it would be, I AM an Excellent Parent!...woo hoo!

I had never seen this much talked about in groups etc, let alone in a book... VERY good work you did!

Nancy

I believe we pull people to us that reflects what we're feeling ourselves. If we don't like "us" we're sure to find friends or lovers who will treat us like we're unlikeable. Is that word? LOL! So, who we hang with shows how we feel about ourselves.

It was strange because I never noticed how my girlfriends talked toward me until during therapy. I will also mention that I put a stop to it too. It was no longer acceptable. I began to view myself and my life completely different. That Law of Attraction thing at work again.

Nancy, I believe our children are the true victims when abuse is taking place. They didn't invite that loser into their lives and didn't choose them as a father or stepfather so we have to be held accountable and take up the slack, so to speak. You are a true and good example of how a mother's love can fill the gap. You should be very proud of yourself!

I have done The Artists Way twice now. It really is a life-changing book, isn't it? I was never good about taking the artist on the weekly date tho.

Lynnie, medically speaking, I wasn't kicked in the vagina. I wasn't kicked inside of me. My editor and I explored this in depth and my publisher didn't seem to have a problem with it so we let it stay. I always call that area my crotch and never thought it was just a male term.

Lynnie, I tried to email you and it came back undeliverable.

I also love the Artist Way and have been doing morning pages for years (even before the book). I have trouble with the artist dates, too. What kinds of things do you do when you take yourself on a 'date'? I like to go to the dollar store and look at the toys for some reason. They just make me smile. I recently bought bubbles for my creative writing class and sometimes I just go and blow bubbles on the porch.

We say crotch here in the south...you know like when you can see up someone's dress...it's a crotch shot!

I would take my dog and bird (in her carrier) and sit by the pond, next to our building. Now, it's too cold for that. Sometimes, I would wander through the mall or go to a bookstore or...yep, go shoe shopping!

Bath, I never finished because I am in the habit of having a quiet time each morning to journal, read the Bible, and pray. Doing that and The Artist's Way was too much and I didn't want to give up my other routine so I never got back to it. Crazy.

We also say crotch.

Hi Dianne, thanks for the explanation re: crotch. Dotsie, if you already journal in the AM, can you consider that your "morning pages" as The Artist's Way calls it? I think sometimes we can incorporate what we learn from books into our routine without being so literal about what the author prescribes. Julia Cameron (TAW) had one child, no 9-5 job, and had the time to approach morning pages in the early am. I teach journal writing workshops. Some people get up at 4:30 AM for their jobs and children, and in no way can they fit in the morning pages. I would not think that you would have to do morning pages in addition to your already journal writing. Am I lecturing? Sorry. If I recall correctly, you came across a similar book to TAW at the same time you started TAW. But I really recommend finishing TAW, because there is so much more Cameron offers than morning pages and artist's dates. Speaking of dates, that's funny that Dianne goes shoe shopping! I went to a new art association meeting yesterday by myself (at least new to me) and that was my artist date. Nancy, I am so glad to hear how women make it better for the next generation. I declared at 15 that I was not going to have children. My step mother and aunts said I was too young to make that decision. They said my maternal instinct would kick in. My maternal instinct kicked in in another way: I felt too maternal toward all children to dare bring another into a violent and incestuous family. You used your courage in another way: to break the cycle of violence.

I've intentionally stayed away from reading this forum page because I'm on a publisher deadline and I am old enough and wise enough to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have a serious priority problem when it comes to online forum communication. Especially regarding subjects that are near and dear to my heart. I find myself dropping everything to read and respond and before I know it the better part of the day has flown by and I'm even further behind than when the day began! Yikes! If I don't get the final edit completed on my next novel by October 30th, I'm going to have one very unhappy publisher to contend with.

All that said, I have spent the past hour or so reading all the posts on this October Thread. Great comments, great feedback, and it's like we're sitting in a living room having coffee and chatting - I'm gonna love this group! (Bravo Dottie for actually doing something with your vision!) I am going to order your book, Dianne, as well as your book, Lynnie. Both titles sound intriguing and I can't wait to read your books. I would love to respond specifically to so many posts on this thread, but I need to sign off now and get back to work.

Although it isn't the sole focus of my writing and speaking platform, domestic violence has a role in my history and I'm always interested to communicate with other women who have shared this journey. So many women have traveled challenging roads in life and I am always amazed at how God uses the pain of our past to give us a purpose for the present.

Have a blessed day!

Allison Bottke, Author/Speaker
www.godallowsuturns.com

Wow, Allison, welcome to BWS! It's true that BWS has a way of drawing us together so that it is hard to get to our other tasks. I just wanted to say hi to you before I signed off.