Dotsie, I found a woman on the Internet who found an agent for me. I don't even remember how I found her but I don't send people to her anymore because I got emails from people who wanted to know if I liked her and I noticed that she was charging for things she shouldn't be. I felt it was unethical. I told her so and asked her to stop using me for a reference. She was really upset with me but I didn't care. It's people like her who give the writing world a bad name. Scammers. But, she did find me a good agent and he was the one who "ethically" sent out my manuscript to publishers. He's a writer himself and got a five book contract and stopped agenting. Nice guy.

Ah yes, the phone call from my mother combined with the abuse I was suffering, got me into therapy. It was supposed to be a birthday call but it ended up being one that told me she understood what made the way I am, yada, and to me, it was all insults. That's what put me over the edge. It was sink or swim at that point of my life so maybe, I should thank her for calling me and making me crazy!

At some time, you do stop talking about the abuse because your friends don't know what to say, don't have the right advice to give and it has to get old for them to listen to it. It was kind of a scenario with the elephant in the room that everyone is ignoring.

Thank you, TVC. That means a lot to me...a whole lot and I appreciate it.

If I tell you gals what I'm writing, I'd have to kill you so let's just say it's a book for women but has nothing to do with abuse. I will never write another book on dv because I said every single thing I wanted to say in the first one. I don't believe in beating a dead horse.

I can't wait to read your next book, especially if it's for women! I'm excited for your announcement, whenever that may be. Keep writing. I like your style/voice!

Thanks, Dots. This brings up another point in the writing life. Try to not share your work with many people. On my latest venture, I told one close friend and sent an outline to my editor. The editor is a very good judge of what is a good idea and what isn't. If it stinks, she finds a nice way of telling you so but the message is the same...it stinks! She's very excited about my latest idea...so am I!

Anyway, I believe that our writing or project can lose energy if we share it with too many people. One negative comment can make us start doubting. Writers tend to be somewhat more emotional about their work and the people who would usually criticize are those who have never written anything themselves.

Yes, you might want some feedback but be very careful who you ask for it. You might even take a writing class at B&N and get close to the instructor. They are not usually going to do anything but help you do a better job. You're their student, right? They look bad if your work looks bad.

Don't rely on friends or family for input. It's a very sticky ground that could end friendships or cause a rift with that family member. Go to an expert.

Hi. I'd like to add something re: real names or not. In cases of sexual abuse, the perpetrator cannot be named UNLESS he has been convicted, or else the writer can be sued. Plus, no publisher would take the project if the perp is named and there has been no conviction. So, that is another reason to fictionalize the names in your story. Dianne, I did not use an outline either because they constrict me. I wrote the whole story and then selected chapter titles and accompany quotes. I also learned not to edit as I wrote, but wow! I went through so many re-writes.

I also have a good source for writing well and getting it from yourself. I read and did the activities in the first 4 chapters and this is where my 12 scene play came from. Basically out of nowhere. There were 8 more chapters of things to do and I didn't pick up that book again....lol
Can I say the name in here?

It was an excellent source....for me anyways!

Lynnie,
Yes you are right! legally about naming people without a conviction as that becomes public record.
I also found thinking about doing an outline and it sent me into panic mode....lol
When I do my best writing, I just get out a pad and GO!

Thanks so much for all of the information and I can't wait to see what your up to now Dianne, it sounds exciting!

Nancy

Nancy, of course, you can put the title of the book here! Another good book, which gives a lot of info on writing and publishing and what editors look for is: The Forest for the Trees. It's packed full of good advice that should be followed.

When I was in CA for "that" wonderful week end, I suddenly got clarity on what I should be writing. I had been working on another book but I think I had fallen in love with it's title more than the book itself. I was really struggling with it. I'd write part of a chapter, only to never return to it. I had no passion for it and I finally figured out that it was the kind of book I wouldn't read myself. I don't know what happened that week end but I suddenly knew what I should be writing and it's flowing very well. Strange.

I can't tell you how many books I've read that are best sellers and have had many printings, that have typos in them. It's just amazing. One book was even on how important it was to have a clean manuscript and it had typos!

This brings up a point about a good editor. They will not change your story and only look for mistakes but actually make you a better writer. This is not a person who will charge you $1 a page and read it and return it to you with no suggestions. That does absolutely no good and is part of the writing world scam. This is what the woman I mentioned earlier did. Some writers want to be published so badly, they fall into these traps and the scammers know it and use it to their advantage.

My editor and I worked through email although we lived in the same town. I'd email a chapter, she'd edit it and send it back via email. If I had a question, I'd call her. Sometimes we'd lightly argue over a point as she was a survivor of dv herself, but between the two of us, we got it finished!

Another point: My publisher wanted to know what I was doing in regards to my subject matter. At that time, I was volunteering at the shelter, had a support group for female inmates and was speaking a lot on dv. This is important because a publisher wants to know what the writer is going to do to promote their book. They expect the writer to push it themselves, along with their PR.

Okay, I think I'm writing a book here!

P.S. My editor and I struggled with the word, "crotch" in my book. We exhausted our vocabulary, trying to find another word but the only other word that came close was, vagina. Nope, couldn't use that. We stuck to crotch.

This is an interesting site for writers to check out different agents.

http://www.anotherealm.com/prededitors/pealk.htm

Dianne,
The title of the book is one I mentioned to you on the phone.
THE Artist's Way by Julia Cameron
I give a copy of this book to all of my very special friends and artists that have come into my life and they had no idea of their potential.
This book has done so much in so many peoples lives that it is incredible.
I know now why I put it down the first time I read it and did the excercises up to the 4th chapter,
IT was that I wrote and directed a play and I didn't want any recognition for it. I didn't tell anyone that I was writing the play and when it was over, it has raised over $4,000 for a good cause. IT SCARED me REALLY bad as I was and am still not sure I am capable of doing such wonderful talented things....I recoiled!. hmmmm, maybe that is why I don't pick it right back up and do it again....lol
It is always next to my bed....it is a wonderful way to start or finish things that you have always dreamed of...

Nancy

Nancy, I still have never finsihed taht book, but I loved it while I was doing it. I have given the book as a gift too. And everyone is capable of doing such wonderful talwnted things. Why not. God has given all of us gifts to use for His glory. Go for it!

Dianne, I hope you don't mind the way I keep brigning out parts of the book. I underlined so much that I found most important. I think it's good to mention these issues here in case women are reading and not writing. So here's another part of the book:

I noticed that I began to avoid negative people. I was aware of how destructive negativity could be.I no longer wanted to speak or think negative words or thoughts. A new awareness was taking place, which was much easier and caused less stress.

This must have been a tremendous turning point for you and for any one who has ever been abused becasue I imagine abusers are absorbed in negativity.