Seeking feedback!

Here's some background:
My husband accepted a job with Arby's one year ago.
The opportunity was something he couldn't pass up for a guy who accidentally ended up in the fast food industry. It has also allowed me to be a SAHM.

Joe moved to Cleveland last October. The boys and I joined him at the end of Janaury. We were all very sad to be leaving Denver, but had faith we were making the right choice.

We lived in the Residence Inn for 5 weeks (2 adults, 2 kids, 2 cats and 12 houseplants) while all our belongings were in storage.

At the first of February, we made an offer on a house in Akron because Arby's said Joe would supervise that area. That night, they asked him to go to Columbus. We thought, "what the heck, could be a good career move!".

We found a quaint, little, old house to buy, but the sellers couldn't close until May. In March, we rented an apartment near the neighborhood we were buying in.

As a girl who gets spiritually in touch with her space, this apartment had bad, bad energy....sitting next to the interstate.
I was miserable!

Our Colorado house wasn't selling and the closing date was coming near for the Columbus house. We got out of the contract.

Finally the Colorado house sold and we still were not feeling home in the "yucky apartment".
We decided to stay renters for fear Joe would get transferred to yet another city in the near future. In July we moved to a beautiful townhome in New Albany.

NOW, Arby's wants Joe to go to Toledo, OH.
I knew he may be transferred, but I never thought it would be this year OR in the same state!

The transfer COULD be good for his career, but there is no promise. If we stay in Columbus, it could take longer for him to get to the next rung on the ladder.

I'm really not interested in the idea. Can't tell you why? I'm very intuitive and Joe is very facts and figures.

I would hate to be the one who slowed him down on the career path. I also worry about what this could do to our little guys.

UGH! Four moves in one year???? INSANE!!

Stacy
Is each of these moves a step up in Joe's career or just a linear move? Is he getting ahead or just proving he's a company man that says yes?
It's early in his job with this company- I would talk to other wives to see if constant moving is the norm.
You're out of your comfort zone with no place to nest and little ones on top of it. you have to balance your ability to stay home with a new nomadic lifestyle- anywhere can be home if you accept that you have to give up to get
best of luck on a tough situation

If the children are too young for school this is a mere inconvenience. No one, career or not should be asked to move their family 4 times in one year, thats ridiculous. When the kids are of school age however this kind of nomad lifetyle can hurt them academically and personally. So if you must move do it now, not when the kids need structure. You need it too.

This most recent "opportunity" would be a linear move that will supposedly put him in a better position for a promotion.

Moving people around is not the norm. Most supervisors stay put in the areas where they work because of extended family.

Our original plan included moving around while the kids were little and then stopping around or before middle school. But, when we talked, we figured it would be once every couple of years. There was NEVER a consideration for multiple times in one year!

This is really putting pressure between us! UGH!
Does anyone have a crystal ball I can barrow??

Stacy M. - Having been a child who moved every few months and attended 9 different schools (sometimes re-enrolling to a school I had already attended because we moved back to a previous neighborhood-not once, twice, but three times) I can tell you this; that type of shuffling the kids around will hold them back academically AND socially. You are ALWAYS the outsider, the new kid on the block, the one that has to catch up. You never get a sense of permanence or belonging.

I can understand wanting to be supportive of your husband's career but the repercussions of pulling the kids in and out of schools and social circles will result in problems that they will carry with them through life.

I had to respond to your post because it dredged up all of those awful feelings that I lived through and have been trying so hard to overcome. Adults think kids will adjust when what actually happens is the kid creates barriers to make the situation bearable, sometimes that will result in pulling inward, acting out, or a combination of both. Either way it becomes a social problem which can carry over into adulthood and affect job performance and the ability to have sucessful relationships. The reason: if you become conditioned to bolt every few months you will never learn how to deal with anything long-term or you can become so needy and hungry for stability that you jump at the first opportunity that seems promising.

I speak from personal experience AND other people I know who grew up with the same situation.

I have also worked for the corporate world and know that they are keen on seeing what they can get out of an employee while the company provides empty promises and of course never in writing.

Now that I got that off my chest I can push the demons back into the closet.

Jersey Girl ~
Thanks for the reply! I'll be sure my husband reads this.
Now, my boys are 4 and 20 months. I can see your point about how things could go at the time when the kids hit school-age.

Jersey, what a heart-felt post. Keep the demons at bay. How long have you lived in your current home?

Stacy, I think it's good advice to talk with the other wives. They should be abel to tell you if your hubby is being jerked around, or taken advantage of. Be sure to speak with people who have been there for several years.

Is your plan to get back to Colorado, or was that someone else? Forgive me if it was. Why don't you consider where your dream home would be. This may sound crazy, but perhaps there is another company in your dream area that would be interested in your husband. Perhaps one that wouldn't move him all over the place. I'm all for as much stability when raising kids. I hope I'm not confusing matters. Just thinking outside the box.

I too was always the new kid on the block, or re-enrolling in the same school because I was bounced back and forth between Mom and Grandma and Grandpa. It took me years to finally decide I was worthy of anything, or had any talent at all. I was voted class president in the 8th grade, I actually went to the same school I had finished 7th grade in! Two weeks later we were packing up and moving to California. I ended up in five different junior high schools in three different states! I won't even move furniture in my house!!!!! We've been here for 10 years and will stay as long as we can still manuever up and down the stairs and take care of it!

Sherri

I went to 4 elementary schools in the 5th grade. I remember that we were studying the USA and Canada that year. Believe it or not every school I went to was doing Canada. I never learned a darn thing about my own country that year!

Dotsie - I have been in my current home for 10 years and refuse to budge. My last move was from Jersey to Alaska and then back to Jersey. I watched my children play catch-up and decided at that time that the nomadiac lifestyle was over for me.

Sherri - Yep, back and forth to Grandma's house would be the reason for re-enrolling in one school 4 times.

I am all for change but the home has to be a solid base.

Stacy M. - I hope you get settled with this issue. Dotsie brought up a good point; decide on a base and work with what is available in that area. I learned long ago to not base my life on a company, especially when loyalty is a thing of the past. Companies expect the employee to be loyal while the company never hesitates to cut an employee loose if doing so improves the bottom line. Good luck with whatever your decision is.