My new motto is: If we must take baggage into a new relationship, let it be Louis Vuitton!

Ann, think of it this way: would you want your sister survivors of DV to feel shame for their experience? I don't think so. I think you would have compassion for her experience, and think of her as courageous for surviving. Please have the same compassion for yourself as we have for you! Love and Light, Lynn

Thanks for the input. I am not feeling ashamed of myself anymore, but more just still a bit of "I can't believe I did that!" kind of embarassment.

I do have lots of compassion for myself. I have come a loooooong way, baby and am very proud of who I have become and where I am going.

I try not to bring any baggage into the new (and great!) relationship. There are times that I still respond in old ways, but I catch myself and know that those type of responses don't work for me.

I am glad to see so many good women make so many positive changes in their lives. I only wish I knew then what I know now - but I can only know that I learned so much compassion from this experience. Now maybe I just need to show myself a bit more compassion.

Thanks again.
Ann

Hey, I wouldn't mess with you!

They never do it in front of other people because they don't want witnesses. That way, they can their victim that they imagined it or it didn't happen. They say they lost control but in truth, they are very much in control...control over the victim.

Yes, it is often the only thing abusers have control of in their lives. And the crazy part? Wow, it is amazing how they have the ability to make YOU feel like the one who is wrong, crazy, going insane, imagining something -

Two of my favorite sayings come to mind

You can't change someone else, only yourself and your responses.

Never try to reason with a crazy person.

Ann