Vonnie, I'm so glad he's doing better!

A mom is never in the way! But, don't guilt trip yourself. You are only one woman and can only do so much. You'll make the right choice.

I'm so sorry about your son and wish him God's speed on his recovery. Sometimes it's hard to work things out and it does sound as if you company "might" make it hard on you if you left, but I would sure check with them and see. Not hell or high water could keep me from one of my children if they were hurt.

I hope your partner was compassionate about this situation, but I couldn't help but wonder if it were his child, would he feel the same?

JJ

Vonnie, we are women and no matter what decisions we make sometimes, we feel guilty about something! It was the right one to make not to go right away as others are there for him. But by the time he gets home, they might be a little stressed and that will be the time for you to step up to bat. If you had gone right away, you'd be standing around the hospital while the nurses cared for him and you'd be thinking about your job! This way, you can give a little notice at work, try to do as much ahead of time there (if that's possible) and leave instructions for others. You will probably find a better fare booking ahead, too.
Soemtimes, the way to go is to NOT jump (it's hard, when it's our kids!) and let someone tell you when you are needed the most. In the meantime, you pray, have peace and when you go, you feel more "together". Know what I mean?
((HUGS))
ps - I like to pray for people by name, so can you tell us your son't first name?

Vonnie, I fully agree with all of the advantages that Bluebird has pointed out, especially saying that by the time your son gets home, the others might be tired and will need you to step in and be with him then.

That's how it is with my brother. Hubby and I are his primary caregivers, but we just can't be with him all the time, as much as we want to be able to be there. Those are the times when I really wish someone else could step in and be with him when we're not there.

I'll keep your son in my prayers too. Stay strong...follow your heart - at a time like this I think it's pretty safe to say that no matter how many good people are surrounding and helping him, nobody can take the place of your son's mother.

Vonnie,

It sounds as if you are worried and can't get your son off your mind. Maybe you would be a better employee and mate if you simply get on a plane and go up there to see for yourself that he's okay.

I have flown on an 'emergency fare' which is less expensive than regular air fare. Ask the airlines. Maybe you could get one of those, but you should try to get it before your son actually leaves the hospital if possible. They usually require a hospital number and other proof that your loved one is actually ill and a member of your immediate family.

It sounds as if your partner doesn't really want you to go and it may not be entirely practical, but partners come and go, money comes and goes, but sons are forever and no matter how impractical, or how independent, our kids need us.

Either way, you and your son will be in our prayers.

smile

I have never had children, but I know that it is very difficult to see their children suffer. Whatever you do, don't go to the guilty route. You have nothing to feel guitly about.
You might want to ask your son what he wants. Like others have said, you could try the weekend to help him get comfortable at home. You might also ask if he wants to fly down to see you after he has healed a bit and before he goes back to work.
Take care of yourself and know that you can be for him fully when you are emotionally and physically healthy.

Vonnie, how about an update?

Hi Ladies,

Sorry for not replying sooner. I flew to be with my son on Tuesday. After talking to my daughter Sunday night and she and her father were very worried and upset because Chad was in so much pain. So I made up my mind and went tuesday and so glad I did. He came home from the hospital on Monday and we are both staying with my daughter. It was good that I came because my daughter and ex were able to work the rest of the week and not have to worry. He hasn't been able to drive with one hand and also because he's on heavy duty pain pills. The doctors saw him yesterday and said he was coming along well.

His face was like a really bad sunburn and now it's turned to tan. They put liquid silver on his hand and apparently it's great stuff because it will come off on Monday and there should be no scarring. Up until today though he's been in a lot of pain so I'm glad he's finally starting to feel better.

It's also given Chad and I some good quality time. If you've read my blog you know that he's had some trouble with the law and we won't really know how that whole thing turns out until jan. However, we've talked alot about his future choices,etc. and it's much better to talk about that in person than on the phone.

So the moral of the story is - I should always go with my heart instead of my head in these situations.

I want to thank all of you so much for your wonderful comments. It's so great to have this group to come to for things like this.

I would have written back sooner but my daughter still has dialup and it takes soooooooo longer to load. I plan to come back again though tonite or tomorrow to see how everybody else is doing.

Take care - love you guys!!