Yesterday, my son(28)who's a welder by trade was burned at work and air-lifted to a hospital in Syracuse, NY. He has third degree burns on one hand and and flash burns on his face. The doctor said he would be fine but would have to have skin grafts on his hand. I called the hospital last night and they told me he was doing well and on constant pain medicine.

According my 31 year old daughter and my ex-husband, he will be in the hospital for 3 or 4 days and will be out of work for six to eight weeks.

My dilemna - I live in Florida, he's in NY. It's a crucial time for me to be at work right now, however, I feel like I should fly to NY now. Another dilemna - I don't have the extra cash to do so now but I'll come up with the money somehow.

My partner thinks it's foolish for me to go up when there's nothing I can do and (as he keeps reminding me) my son is 28 years old. I, being his mother, feel like I should be there.

Tell me mothers - should I go up now? should I see if he'll need help when he gets home? Should I just keep in touch from down here?

Even though i am not a mother, my DH was burned several years back and his mother was there. She, too, lived in another state. however the company he worked for paid her way.

Ask if they have provisions. They might at least pay half.

If it were me, i'd want my mother there. if you are having 'thought' of going,there's a reason. you are his mother and are drawn to be by your child's at his time of need. I'd say 'forget work, my baby is hurting and i NEED to go'.

i'd go!!

Hi, Vonnie: I am so sorry to hear about your son's accident. Thank goodness his face only suffered flash burns which will heal in time and do not scar. I pray that his hand heals well.

Well, Vonnie, it does not matter whether your son is 12, 28 or 50. Your maternal instincts will dictate how you react to everything which concerns your children. Listen to your heart. It beats for your son as much as it does for you. Have you spoken to him yet?

Hi Lola,

No, I haven't spoken to him. He's been sedated and they have a tube down his throat because they have to make sure his lungs aren't damaged. But, I spoke with his nurse last night she said that will come out today. My daughter is going to the hospital this morning so I will know more then and hopefully be able to talk to him. Thanks for caring.

Sorry to hear about your son's accident. I'd go. He's your son. Doesn't matter what age he is. Unless you talk to him and he tells you he would rather you come out once he's out of the hospital to help him out, go. I would want to be there now to see for myself.

Louis

Could you possibly fly on a week end? I would think he might need help when he returns home. Once a mom, always a mom. I'd go.

Hi Gals,

I talked to my son tonite. He didn't sound great but things are better than what the doctors first said. He doesn't have to have a skin graft and now they are saying he should only be out of work for two weeks. He should be out of the hospital in a couple of days and his father is going up tomorrow to learn how to dress the wound. So I'm now thinking I should have gone before because I probably won't be needed now. I think half my problem is that I want to be needed but after five years I'm sure they will all do fine. So do I spend $400 to fly up there and just be in the way? I'm feeling guilty and depressed, but trying to be realistic. I don't know - I hate this. Thanks for listening.

Hi, Vonnie: How wonderful it is to know that your son's injury is not as severe as once thought, now that doctors have decided that further surgery to his hand would not be necessary. The main concern now is to take great care that the hand is not infected. Please do not torment yourself with what you ought to have done as far as flying to NY is concerned. God has His ways and allows others to step in when you could not. You have better news about the whole situation now and perhaps when the pressure of work and finances allow, you can fly out to see your son. In the meantime, he will have his father to help out.

Hi Vonnie,
I'm so sorry about your son's accident but glad he is doing better. I would try to plan to go there when he's home. That might give you time to straighten things out at work first. He'd need you more once he was home anyway but if you can't go, don't feel guilty. He isn't alone there.

Vonnie, does he have anyone to care for him when he gets home? If not, I'd try to get there for the first few days he's there. If he lives alone, that's when he'll need the help because there may be some things he can't do for himself due to his injured hand.

My heart aches for you. The thought of one of my children being in the hospital in another state is so upsetting. But remember, the nurses can take care of him while he's there. Have peace in knowing his dad is with him now. Let him give you his take on tings at the end of today.

You are all in my prayers!