copygal, looks like you found a perfect work setting. How's it going? Have you met soem new people? I hope this opens more doors for you that will bring you much deserved joy.

Cynthy, welcome to the neighborhood. How do you and copy know one another?

My heart is with you. I witnessed Mom's death to cancer and I recall the pain that followed. I'm sure it was hard to have hope and then have it slashed with another diagnosis.

Please know we will do our best to raise you in prayer, give you comfort, and surround you in the healing process.

People would tell me that things got better with time. I have to say, it's true. One day at a time! What are you doing today?

Hi Dotsie,
I just had my second interview on Thursday and got the phone call that evening, asking if I would accept the job on a part-time basis, as another gal wanted the job too, but not full-time, so they decided to give us each part-time. For right now, it will solve a lot of problems and give me some writing time too. I should be starting next week. I've met the women I'll be working with and they all seem really nice. And you're right about it being a perfect work setting for me. It's a library-what could be better?
For now, it's a stepping stone, who knows where it all will lead?
Thanks everybody too, for always being so supportive and encouraging. I'll say it again-you gals are the best! If I can help anyone out there, just sing out!

Welcome Cynthy, many widows share this site and the lonileness and fear which sometimes accompanies loss of a loved one. Time is a healer and the friendship and advice and payers freely given here by all the wonderful women will eventually turn your sorrow around. There is life after the death....

Hello dear ones, I met Copygal when I found her widow blog thru an internet search for grief support which brought me to IVillage.com. Her blog posts really articulated my feelings and we began exchanging emails and she referred me here. I feel so much better now that I am here; I feel the love and support, so important now that I am on my own. I feel ever so needy and lonesome and I can't thank you all enough for your kindness and encouragement. Its a horrible thing to watch the love of your life slip away....Indeed it wll take much time to heal, perhaps never fully, but I intend to live and seek joy as Dave would have me do. He always encouraged others to "feel their feelings" and as I do so, I know he knows I am doing the best I can to learn to live without him. Bless you all! I work full time with caring, supportive co=workers. It helps keep me sane and busy. Good nite for now. Best wishes to all.

Morning All,
Just got some bad news about the job I mentioned before. After offering me part-time, which I accepted, they decided I didn't have enough experience to work for them after all. They contacted my last boss, the dentist I worked for, and he said it was company policy not to give references on past employees. He'd tell them I did indeed work for him and when, but nothing else. So, now I go back to looking for work again. I hate this. One step forward, two steps back. Will I ever figure out this crazy dance?

Oh my, sorry to hear this. I bet there is something even better in store for you. One step forward indeed......Thanks for sharing. You are in my thoughts as I know I am in yours. Its my "weekend" and I am going to try to motivate myself to work on tiny tasks with the ultimate goal to get the house saleable though I fear I am stuck here for the winter. This frightens me; the snow, the chains, no 4WD, at mercy of weather...ah, life......miss Dave ever so much, so hard to look around and see his things virtually everywhere, wherever I go.......more later. Love to you!

Hi Cynthy,
You are indeed in my thoughts and my prayers. Bad weather scares me too, though fortunately, here in Texas, not so much of it. Last winter, we had a bad ice storm and I was out in it, slipping and sliding, praying out loud, terrified I would get into an accident. Mel knew how to drive in that stuff, since he grew up in Minnesota, so I used to leave the driving to him when the streets were icy. Now, I'm on my own.

Those small tasks will help you get through it, things to think about and accomplish. Take your time going through Dave's things, don't be in a hurry. It's all part of the process and you'll know when you're ready to tackle it. One of the things I did that helped tremendously especially in the first year was keeping a journal, recording how I felt and how I was handling situations. I wrote a lot and cried a lot, but looking back through the journals, I can see just how much I've grown and changed. I think Mel would be proud of me and all I've accomplished. No matter what happens, you can count on all of us Boomer gals, we're here for you. You're going to be okay!
Alanna

cynthy, do you have any friends or siblings to help you sort through things? I know this isn't the dame, but when Mom died, my siblings and I all went to Dad's at the same time and went through Mom's belongings. The fact that we were all together helped.

I also recall helping write sympathy thank you notes with a friend whose son was killed in Iraq. She knew she couldn't do it alone, so she bought a bunch of lunch food and invited family and friends to sit around her dining room table to tackle the hundreds of cards, notes, flower and food cards that had been sent.

I guess my point is that everything is better when shared with a friend.

Please accept my hearty sympathy!

Copygal, congratulations on the new job! I love libraries (and book stores), the smell of books, the learning atmosphere, all of which I find very peaceful and comforting. I often attend the library for research, yet find myself looking for my favorite writers and browsing . . . rather than the task at hand!

Cynthy, my thoughts and prayers are with you dear.

Good morning Copygal,

Congratulations to you on your new job. 10 years when I was going through my divorce (death of my marriage) I had my "regular" job and volunteered in my son's school as the computer guru I taught the kids and the teacher after school - that was back when the teachers knew very little about computers. It was good to be in a supportive school setting and made some great new friendships with a number of the teachers.

Good morning Cynthy and welcome!

My heart and prayers go out to you. Your husband was lucky to have you by his side through those terrible last days. I know you are in California like me but it sounds like you live up in the mountains. There are many people praying for you and care. I agree with the others, you have chosen a great website to come to - it's a wonderful community and we all care.

Bless you both!
Donna

Bless you.