msdiana, your writing is good and real and should be published. Your children already see the larger picture, even if they lack specific details. I don't think the book will embarrass them any more than his coldness already has. As far as your husband being humiliated -- he'll just lie and charm his way through any questions from colleagues, and blame it all on you. Which is why it's good if you're physically not there.

The man is a black hole and will suck you in if you let him. By trying to fix the problem, you're being sucked into the vortex. Your husband doesn't want to be fixed. For whatever reason, he feels empowered by being cold and manipulating others. You're trying too hard and bending over backwards to accommodate him, and that's what the game is about. Logic doesn't work. Compassion doesn't work. Your getting out and moving on with your life is the only thing that will work, and that's for you, not him.

You're a strong woman, and will be even stronger when you remove the dead weight you've been carrying all these years.

Best of luck. Know that we are all behind you.