Diana,
Whew! Your writing is excellent and first-class. I mean that. As someone said, it makes one want to beg for more.

First, I hope this isn't your real name as these forums can be read by ANYBODY. No secrets. This is a public forum. I felt I needed to say that. We never know if someone feels threatened by their domestic situation, so I just wanted you to know.

Secondly, I can't see that fiction is going to solve anything as far as identity for you. Are you saying that no one, absolutely no one in your circle of friends, family, or acquaintances would KNOW from reading a work of fiction that the characters were really you and your hubby? I doubt it. As you stated, the kids already have some inkling. And what about when hubby finds out you've written a fiction novel and he reads it. Would he sue you? Divorce you? Beat you?

Writing under a pen name gives you a little bit of a veil, but you still have to consider marketing as Dianne has stated. What if the book is a best-seller? #1 on Amazon. Oprah? Trust me, they will want to delve into YOU the writer.

And a couple of things for last. I'm reading all of this and it makes me distraught that a counselor would make this all your fault. Me thinks I would be checking into another one. Finally, you are very smart to turn away from such a dishonest publisher! Good for you!

I see your problem here and really feel for you, but if you are wanting this in a book form for the public, you're going to have to make a decision on WHO (going public, fiction or otherwise/pen name/ghostwriter/therapist<as suggested>) get's credit for it. I hope it's YOU.

JJ