It doesn't seem proper to me. I'd never do it.

I'm breathing a sigh of relief with you. I think of you and your situation a lot. When is the wedding date so you can put that behind you as well?

I think the daughter you raised will be back someday. She'll realize a lot of things. Just like we all did.

Dianne, your comment could be right on. I'm sure there were things we did when we were getting married and oh, so young. Perhaps she will come around.

It is tradition in our family too for the mother to give the daughter the penior set. I've never heard of a future MIL doing the same. Has anyone else?

I'm glad you had fun and made the most of your family and freinds being there. That's all you can do...and pray that your daughter is really happy.

Really, Cathy does that truly matter in all this, who gives what? Its just another thing for you to worry over and doesn't mean a thing. In this world today I see much of the old traditions nonexistant anymore, and the new ones are a joke for the most part. BUT its a new world and the youngsters are not US! They do not behave like we did, they do not think or feel things like we did, and to me these changes are NOT for the better, but change they will and nothing we can say or do will make a darn bit of difference. Like I said before, just wait, the tides they will be turning after the wedding, mark my words.

I agree with you chatty that doesn't matter. Wedding is ..not a reflection how the marriage will succeed while the couple is alive.

It must be hard to worry about how your daughter will adjust with her MIL. HOpefully it will not affect her relationship with her hubby.

As for the custom about the pegnoir set giving etc. , I'm genuinely puzzled. I am completely unfamiliar with this custom. It sounds cultural...

EVery generation needs the freedom without parents to create/transform existing positive rituals for weddings, marriage. Has it occurred to anyone here, why young couples immigrated to North America....they can escape stifling "traditions", in-laws.. there is of course, a downside, for loving, flexible in-law parents, they can be of immense friendly support in person.

My son Nicholas and his fiancee Christon are getting married July 21.

Nicholas said he was going to walk down the aisle barefoot and my other son Matthew, his best man, said well if he's not wearing shoes I'm not either.

Christon said, you'll both wear shoes or I'll sing "I believe in miracle".

My husband and me just looked at each other and shook our heads.

Everything will all work out in the end. Just keep telling yourself, "It's just a wedding."

Laurel

chatty and orchid, you make some very good points. You are absolutely right that this generation needs to do what is best for them. Thanks for putting a different spin on this. It's NOT about us. They're the ones getting married.

We have a family wedding coming up and the couple getting married is having steamed crabs, corn on the cob, salad. etc. as their food at the reception. It's waht they want and I think it's awesome.

The guys are talking about wearing green chucks, you know, the Converse high tops? I think it would be fine. They are wearing tuxes with green cumberbuns (is that how you spell that word?) and the shoes would match. What a hoot. I'll let you know if they do it. This couple is precious. They've known one another for 14 years!

Laurel, your son wants to get married ... barefoot?
Did he say why? Is he getting married on a beach? They do that in Hawaii, right Diamond?

Gee, maybe he has an ingrown nail? Send him some good nail clippers. That may solve the problem.

My oldest son wants to marry next year. I'll believe it when it happens. They have postponed the wedding for the last four years. His fiance' has a weight problem and I've only seen her wear black. Do they have black wedding dresses? That would be practical. You could wear the same dress at the divorce court.

Naughty naughty mommy me. Just joking...honest Injun.

Ahhh...my future m-i-l actually bought my penior...something that was traditional for them as I recall...they are Italian...she did have a lot of ideas for how things should be...some of which we did...some of which she paid for...I had a set budget...and some of it...I did my way...

But I agree...with the others...I was very laid back when my daughters got married...and we were a very non-traditional family...so much less stress for me...and we all had a great time...

My oldest daughter eloped with the whole family...we went to Gatlinburg, TN to one of the Chapels...we planned the whole thing in 3 weeks...her fianace was moving for work and she wanted to go too...I made lasagne, froze it and took it for the reception...we were in a great chalet...a lot of fun...

My younger daughter got married in her college town...I was 6 hours away...his parents lived there...so her future m-i-l helped her with all the local stuff...flowers...hall... that kind of thing...She came to see me during her spring break and we bought her dress...my sisters catered it...so all I had to do was show up...I sort of liked it that way...LOL!

My Italian MIL gave me a peignoir at my shower, as did my own mother. No prob. My honeymoon lasted longer than two nights and I wore both.

At my daughter's wedding shower, I gave HER a peignoir. This time the wedding was in the bible belt south and the groom's family were Southerners, not Italians, and everyone went "Ohhhh!" as if I'd given her 8 x 12 blow-ups of actual sex act photos or something. It wasn't even a sheer peignoir, but very pretty and romantic.

Ya can't win.

Honey, those Southerners probably hadn't seen anything that pretty before! I would have been tickled pink! See? We're not all backward!