Not sure yet when we are going for the measurements. She is coming by tomorrow to get her birth certificate in order to get her passport - by the way they are going to Rome on their honeymoon!!! Now I ask you - are they cutting costs?????????
But we have to work out our schedules to see when we can get together for the dress. I am just going to keep my cool and make the best of it.
Yes Dotsie - I think this is why I see trouble on the horizon. I have learned many tools and I try to use them with my children as well as my hubby. We have helped many a couple to see where their differences are and why they carry them to their marriages. The children have no clue and unfortunately have to make their own mistakes. It saddens me that I cannot help them steer clear of the storms ahead, but I know I can't. Maybe someday they will be in our marriage seminars for themselves - who knows?

There's an expression in German which I'll translate: "Shoemaker sole your own shoes". Isn't it usually that way? My Dad was a doctor, and I almost died in front of him when my appendix burst. I sell real-estate, but my kids don't want to hear any tips from me when they buy their homes. And you run marriage seminars, but your daughter won't heed your advice. Egaads, that must make it all the harder for you.
Speaking of marriage seminars; if I were near you I'd sign up. Hubby and I once went to counselling; that held for about a week. Do you have any online info?

Yes Hannelore. Here is a link to the church website and the Marriage Matters seminars. There is not an abundant amount of info on the site, but look thru it, you might be able to locate some of the books we use. I know that our church services churches all around the world, maybe there is a connection. I will try to locate one.

http://www.willowcreek.org/mr.asp

A great book to read is Love is a Decision, by Gary Smalley. Actually anything you can read by this author is wonderful!! I went to one of his seminars and he is awesome! ANother great book is The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. But this may be under a different topic. Not sure. But if you would like any further info that I might be able to send, please email me.

and I sit here squinting while hubby is an optometrist! I need to pay him a visit and get another pair of glasses.

I've heard Gary Smalley on the radio before. He's buddies with Dobson, isn't he?

Cathy, somehow I overlooked your post. Thanks for the link. I'm going to order the book as well. Hubby and I are doing fine right now…but our marriage is full of ups and downs. So by the time the book arrives; I'll probably need it. LOL
Hannelore

Oh Cathy, what a shame for you. I think you are being very patient and it must be hugely difficult for you with your husband on one side and your daughter and the rest on the other and you stuck in the middle. My Sister in Law married a man 16 yrs her senior when she was only 18 years old. Her parents (my inlaws) were very opposed to the relationship. She has recently broken up after 23 yrs of marriage and three children. She once told me that she would have left him years earlier but she felt so embarrassed about the hurt she caused her parents that she felt she had to stay and make the distance. sHe is a proud person and I suppose she did not want to hear her parents say I told you so. I suppose I am saying that all the above wise words are correct. You need to state your case succinctly and once, but always be there to support and love your daughter no matter what. If we parents desert our kids who else will they turn to? I think you sound sensible and kind.
Oh and the other thing I was once told (too late for me) was to start your marriage out the way you wanted it to be. People will not change, never ever!! Please keep us posted and the best of luck and love.

I just found your saga this morning, Cathy, and read it from beginning to the current post. If only kids would take advantage of the wisdom of their elders! And I know from experience, because my parents were less than thrilled with my choice for a husband and expressed that (and I didn't listen!)...but stuck by me through the years. They were there to support me when everything fell apart, years later. And they never said, "We told you so!", which was a gift, in itself.

Soooo, I guess I'll just echo everyone else - the most important thing is that even though she may know you're not 100% pleased with her choice (understatement of the century!), you'll stand by her, through thick and thin.

I'm not sure if you mentioned the wedding date - maybe I overlooked it somehow. I wish you and your daughter the best...I hope things change for the better.

Deb, wow! Talk about sucking it up. Boy, she sucked it up for years. I hope she's happy now. Maybe she wanted to wait until her kids were grown too.

In response to Deb, I personally know what its like to have parents, or in my case, a parent who does not support you. Its a long story, but my marriage fell apart after 24 yrs. It was a long time coming....but when I told my Mom that I left him, her first words to me were - "You need to go back to him". We were separated for 3 months and I NEVER got a phone call from her to see if I was ok. IN fact, she supported my husband. It was a bad scene and to this day I have a hard time forgiving her. SOooooooo I have made a pact with myself that I will ALWAYS be there for my kids no matter what they choose in this life. It may not be what I want for them, but they have to make their choices and I will always be there with them.
Just one other thing you said that struck me. I DO believe that people CAN change. They just have to want to. As I said earlier, we were separated. We got help, and my hubby saw his ways and changed them. I had to change too. These were good changes and it saved this marriage. My hubby is a recovering alcoholic. He has not had a drink since 95. He is the picture of a man that can change if he wants to. Of course - it was not as easy as this post sounds. It was a long hard road for us both, but I praise God everyday that we worked at it. And still do work at it. All marriages are work. Some just have harder work than others.

Cathy, You are one of the success stories, not many are I'm afraid, because as was stated; the person, man or woman has to see the error of their ways 1st. and then want to change them and then DO IT!