This is a great post. It made me think of how most everyone in their 50's that I know wants to be cremated. My parents, still alive, already have plots, but want closed casket. My friends in their 30's and 40's all want this new eco/diamond type of thing.
My guess it's that it's all so generational. I love a good cemetary but I sure don't want to be in one. I also want to be cremated, but don't want my ashes sitting on anyones anything. Sprinkle me over the pacific, please. And then I think it's not really about the person who is dying, but instead about those that live on after us.
Let's have fun while we are alive; afterwards it's really about the living, isn't it?
Ann

Last night I went to a viewing for my neighbor. She died on Saturday. Most of her family was there and there was a display of pictures and photo albums around for sharing. Up front was the casket with her laid out. In my whole life, it's only the second funeral I've been to. The first when I was around 15 or 16 and my grandfather died. My cousins and I had to sit in a separate alcove off to the side of the others, and it had curtains. Then we were all forced to stand up and form a line to look into the casket before going outside to wait for the it to be loaded into the hearse.

I don't want to end up like that. It was too sad and somber.

I want to be cremated, with my ashes spread along the beaches of the Keys. I want a memorial service where people can smile and laugh and remember the good times we shared.

When I came home from the viewing last night, I reminded my husband that I wanted to be cremated with a memorial. Nothing like viewings and funerals. They're too sad.

My mother said the newest, latest thing is that they show a video of the deceased which runs the entire time of the viewing. It shows the persons lfe from childhood on. She has been to hundreds of funerals (she's 86) and said this to her was unnerving...and we better not do it when she passes. What are your opiniions on sometjing ike that video> I agree with Vicki, burn me, scatter me and be done with it.

When our daughter died, we were offered the option of cremation. Since our daughter had died in a house fire, that might have seemed the logical solution, since she was too damaged to be viewed at the funeral. However, we opted for the casket and the regular Catholic funeral and burial in the Catholic cemetery north of town, next to where her dad and I wish to be buried someday. I, being deathly afraid of burning to death (how ironic that she should die in this manner) just could not bear the thought of her going through the fire twice. Does that sound silly? Perhaps, but it was the way we felt and we have never regretted our decision.

My hubby wants to be buried, and I want to be cremated. So I think we'll get just one plot, bury him with 1/2 my ashes, then I want the rest of my ashes spread out on a nice warm beach somewhere. Is it bad if my ashes are split up? I'd hate for my soul to be lost somewhere...

I don't want to be buried because I can't stand the thought of my body lying in a box forever. And the thought of just putting it in the ground, unembalmed, sounds horrible to me. I guess I just don't like the thought of the bugs and worms and .... well, you get the picture.

I've been to more funerals than I care to think about in the past five years. Most of them have had some kind of video during the memorial ceremony. They actually were quite well done, and with the right images, can inject some humorous light into the proceedings and helps you remember the fun stuff you may have done with the deceased. They only lasted 10 minutes or so, so it wasn't too much.

And my last thought is - I think the funeral industry is a horrible racket, preying on the distraught relatives at a really bad time. When my dad died last year, my mome ended up spending $7,000 for a casket!! For a lovely box that we all saw for a total of about one hour, and now it will be buried forever.

Now I know it was her money and that's what she wanted to do, but to me it's a total ripoff and a huge waste of money and resources. Am I tacky to think that?

Okay, off my grandstand - it's someone else's turn...
Kathy

Someone sent me an e-mail with pictures that were supposedly from a real funeral...

The man was in his favorite recliner with a beer in one hand and the remote in the other 'laid out' in front of a TV with a football game continuously playing.

Seemed strange...even stranger that someone was e-mailing it all around...but they may be on to something...celebrating the way he loved to live.

Kathy, no need to worry about your soul being lost if your ashes are divided. God takes care of that immediately.

I have also been to lots of funerals. I love it when family members/friends share memories. I appreciate when the music is uplifting and attendees are left feeling uplifted and peaceful knowing their loved one is in a better place. I've been to some funerals that sould make you cry throughout the whole service. I can't stand the drama.

Jane, I haven't seen that one yet, but what a hoot. As Mom would say, "It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round."

I used to think I wanted cremation, but then the funeral industry changed the way they handle cremations in the state of North Carolina and I have changed my mind. This change may also be common in other states - I don't know - but it is worthwhile checking it out in your home state.

In North Carolina, it used to be that somebody opting for cremation could be embalmed and 'shown' at the funeral home for the funeral service (in a disposable liner inside a rented casked), and then cremated later, which is what we chose for my father in 1994. HOwever, by the time my mother died in 2004, the rules had changed. The casket was not rentable, there was no liner, and when she was cremated, her casket was cremated WITH her, meaning her ashes were mixed with those of the casket.

I did not know this until afterward, but it has always upset me since I found out.

I think you can still be cremated in the ordinary way if you do NOT choose to have the embalming and viewing beforehand. However, I'd want my family to handle the funeral arrangements in whatever way would give them the most comfort and so that might include embalming and viewing. If they do that, then I don't want cremation.