I'm with eagle on this one. Stand Your Ground!!!!!

I am so proud of you for placing her in the respite care. Perhaps this will awaken her to their needs. You are on track. Be firm and remember you have us rooting for you from the forums!

I've read a few books about eldercare and one of the hardest parts is convincing the elderly that they need care. A good suggestion that I read was to blame it on the doctor. You know, "Dr. so-and-so said it's time for you to have such-and-such care, move, receive Meals on Wheels, etc." Most geriatricians would back you on this.

It would be nice if cantankerous middle aged folks turned into sweet loving elders but it usually isn't the case. Sounds like MIL and FIL are continuing their pattern of being inconsiderate and controlling.

Good for you for recognizing the validity of your own and your immediate family's other desires and responsibilities.

Find some ways of nurturing yourself during this time. It will give you strength as you make the decisions that need to be made--and it sounds like you'll be the one making a lot of them.

I admire your spirit.

I say leave it up to your husband and sister in law. How did you get the whole deal? Not fair and way too stressful. And...I hope if you are the one that makes the final decisions, you won't have a lot of people angry with YOU in the end! Stay healthy or someone will be taking care of you.

Thank you, all of you once again, for your support. I am digging in my heels now, and it feels good!

SIL has now realized what a job their parents have been and is taking a much more active role in what needs to be done. DH is on overload but I made him go spend the night with his mom tonight. We are harvesting and the financial situation with the farm is very difficult right now so I really don't dare push too much because I'm worried about him, too.

I literally spent the entire day today on the phone with social workers, assisted living facilities and caregivers. Thank God for my 2nd son's fiance' who came out and took my granddaughter home and stayed with her until almost 3:30 so I didn't have to keep track of her while on the phone.

I told sil that I was staying home tomorrow to get caught up with some of my work. She respects that and is being much more supportive than she used to be.

It is 2:30 a.m. and I am finally going to bed. DH is at his mom's house getting a full dose of her. She has been smoking non-stop since we took her home around 9 - even before and after the nebulizer treatment - so she is wound so tight you could use her for a trampoline. She is repeating herself continuously - he will be ready to put her away by tomorrow morning.

I will write more tomorrow - right now, my bed is calling my name. When dh left for mom's at 1:30 a.m., I went to the field a few miles away where my son was combining and gave him a ride home.

Thanks again for the space to rant and rave. I really need it and will be there to support you guys again as soon as I have time to get back to all of the topics. I am so glad I found all of you!

Hang in there! Hope you slept well.

Not that it helps your situation, but we are all admiring your fortitude and strong will. Don't be surprised if it takes more than one night with "Mamma" for hubby to see the light. Let's hope this one time does it though. And prayers are being offered in your name, and for all concerned.

Blessings!

JJ

Flipperjo, I hope today goes well for you. I'll be thinking about you - and looking forward to an update...you take good care of you, and get back here as often as you can for a good hug and a safe place to crash.