Hannelore, my dad lives within a mile from our home and I am always torn between visiting him and hanging out with my family. He lives alone. Mom died 5 years ago. He is a pleasure, so it's easy and enjoyable to visit, but I don't want the kids or Ross to think I'm always running to Pop-Pop's.

So...I try to visit him maybe one night a week. I just go sit and chat for a little over an hour. We try to have him here for dinner occasionally so we can all be together. Another thing I do is ask him to run some errands with me just so we can be together (and that's something no one else wants to do anyway). I also talk to him almost every day. And I try to do that when my husband is working out at the Y.

I suggest talking to your hubby about it. Perhaps you can do the things with her that he isn't interested in doing with you anyway. Would that work? then he could spend that time accomplishing things he does without you.

But we always have to remember...our spouses and children come first. Ahhh...balance...isn't it wonderful!

Also, another thought is the way our children see us tending to our parents is the example we are setting for how the will care for us in the future.