My mother's husband died and she moved to a home for the elderly close to our home. She is a sweet 85 year old woman, who I love dearly. Because she doesn't know anyone here, I feel obligated to have her over, do things with her, and just spend lots of time with her. I work full-time, am married, and have friends, children (out of the house) and hobbies. Wow, I need to be awake 24 hours a day. I'm always on some guilt trip. Either my husband is being neglected or my mother, or my work. The last 30 years, I didn't have much of her, and I am really enjoying this time with her now. My husband doesn't make it easier. In fact, he's jealous.
I feel he should understand that I need this time with my Mom. I'd like to know if any of you ladies have a similar situation, and how your spouse's react. I think it would be ideal to share some of the things my husband and I do with my Mom; like going to the theater, restaurants and such. My husband wants me for himself, and is not willing to have her come along. I have to admit that she can be sometimes critical…but it's tolerable (some old people develop that trait). She can be so very loving as well, and she is ever so thankful when we include her in our outings. My question is: How much is too much or too little? I just don't know what's right and wrong anymore. I'd be grateful for any suggestions or opinions.