JawJaw, I sent you a reply. You are a sweetie!

I need to rephrase something. Instead of saying:

Quote:

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"I am going to need the money to pay for taking my trips back and forth to help my parents."

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I should've said something along the lines of it wouldn't hurt to have that extra money to help with the trips. It will be okay if I don't have the extra money.

My dad insisted I do not give up my job, I thought the disability would help ease his mind and not feel guilty or anything. My dad is the type of person, whenever something would happen, he always encouraged us to proceed as normal.

I just felt I needed to elaborate on this further. I should have been on disability anyway. My therapist recommended that to me a couple of years ago because of my bi-polar. But I didn't take heed to it then because, I just wanted to proceed as normal, just like my dad taught me.

I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi

Hi all,

Well it has been a tough road for my dad. I had to leave a few weeks ago because he wasn't doing well at all with his first round of chemotherapy. He did good the first couple of days then went downhill pretty fast. I had an anxiety attack because I felt so helpless. My therapist put me on a leave of absense. I couldn't believe what I saw when I got to Northern VA. My dad was in terrible shape and he looked almost like a skeleton. I feel bad for my mom because she is worried and my dad snaps at her alot. We were told that it is the chemotherapy and this happens all the time. I am referring to the snapping at my mom part.

Well, as it turned out, my dad had taken pain killers up to the time he started the chemotherapy. That is what made him so incapacitated(SP). Last week he started his second round and is doing better with it now. He is even eating more.

Anyway, I am going to drive my parents to NC next week. My dad is going to Duke and get another opinion. I have an aunt that works there and she was able to arrange this. Actually, she begged my dad to come and get another opinion.

Anyway, I am so sorry I haven't been around. Please forgive me ladies. I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi

Cathi,
We're there with you and your parents. We absolutely understand your absence and will continue the prayers being lifted up for you all. Whenever it is convenient for you, keep us abreast, otherwise know we are with you spiritually every step of the way. JJ

Cathi, I'm on the run too, but you've been on my mind and in my heart-prayers throughout the past few weeks. I sat through my brother's first chemotherapy last week and carried your Dad in my heart the entire time. I'm holding both your Dad and my brother together in my daily (like, 24/7!) prayers. So you're not alone, ever! How I know that feeling of helplessness and dismay at the weakness and changes in your Dad's body. Just keep your chin up and your hope alive...one day, one step at a time is all we can do.

Cathi,
My heart goes out to you and your family. My advice to you is to spend as much time with him as you can. If you can't leave your job then just be with him on the weekends. I spent the last two months of my Dad's life with him and wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world..(Well except to have him be healthy)
I can't even write anymore as I'm getting teary eyed.
My prayers are with you.

OMG, I don't think I will ever get over how supportive and sensitive everyone is at BWS. Thanks all for your continued prayers. I am going to spend as much time as I can with my dad. I will be able to be there for his next chemotherapy. My brother has been with him for the others.

Eagle, I think of you all the time and you are still in my prayers.

I am sorry TVC15, I didn't mean to dredge up some memories and make you cry. Thanks for taking the time to advise me, and your thoughtfulness.

JJ, you are the best lady. I am beyond flattered that you are my friend.

I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi

Cathi, in my earlier email I signed off by saying "keep your chin up"...I can't believe I said it, and my only defence is that my 5-yr-old granddaughter was at my elbow nagging me to get off the computer (I took a quick trip here while she was napping...turned out to be a very quick nap and trip!)

Anyway, I actually don't like that phrase "keep your chin up"...it tends to sound off-handed and impatient. But it just came out, when what I really wanted to do was encourage you to keep your faith and hope alive, because I know for certain that neither one of us are in this alone...Somebody is walking this road with us, even if the prayed-for healing doesn't come in the way or timeframe we wish it would. Even this has a purpose beyond our current comprehension.

Eagle, sweetheart, I didn't think anything like that. I actually liked it, so you see, it was there for a reason.

One thing, I rarely get offended at anything. I feel I know you and I can read between the lines. Don't worry, I want you to ease your mind around me. You have other issues to focus on.

I love you alot!

Cheers,
Cathi

Cathi and Eagle, I pray for both of you and your loved ones going through chemo.

When I experienced it, my mantra was
"This too shall pass. 90 days to go and I'll be better."
"This too shall pass. 89 days left and I'll be better..."

Maybe that will help.

Cathi,
The memories are mostly good and I like to think of him so don't feel badly for bringing this up. I kept it quiet while I went through this but I think it would have helped had I been able to share this with all of my boomer sisters.
My Dad was at stage 4 when we found out. There really was no hope at that point. He couldn't have the chemo because he was too weak. I'm praying that your father will stay strong and have a great outcome from the chemo. Duke is a great place for him to be!