Eagle, this was in my study this moring and I thought of you. I know you have been prayerful about your future and wondering how those prayers would be answered. Just think how torn you would feel if you had another major commitment right now. This is by Barbara Johnson:

"Live every day to fulfill your personal mission. God has a reason for whatever season you are living through right now. A season of loss or blessing? A season of activity or hibernation? A season of growth or incubation? You may think you're on a detour, but God knows the best way for you to reach your destination.?

Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you, your hubby, and your brother!

Dotsie, I actually sent you a PM a few days ago about this - remembering all of our discussions on finding our passion, how I prayed and pondered and begged for my new purpose in life. The answer was always that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be, and when it was time to move into a new purpose, I would know it.

Well, I do know it. Helping my brother right now is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. It explains the recent "season of hibernation and growth", as if God was preparing me for this. He would have known that I would want to be there for my brother in every way possible. I have new energy, new wisdom, new courage and new serenity - all of which I will need during the next few months as I travel this road with my brother.

There's a song that's been playing in my head - I love the words in the chorus, and whenever I hear it on the radio, it feels like God Himself is aiming that part of the song at me, because it always seems to play when I most need to hear it:

(Trust Me, This is Love, by Tina Arena)

I look at this mountain
So many heartaches wide
I can't help but wonder
Where's the other side

I've got to be honest
I've got my doubts
And your tears are asking me
What's this got to do with love

Darling [I substitute "Father" in there] please, tell me something
To help me through this long dark night

Chorus [I imagine God speaking these words to me]:
When this trouble passes over
You and I will walk away
Knowing that our love
Survives another test of faith
You and I can walk on water
The river rises, we rise above
It may not look that way right now
Trust me baby, this is love

Love isn't easy, I'm torn, I confess
When a heart isn't certain
It's bound to second guess
This love won't forsake us
So dry your tears, I promise you

When this trouble passes over
You and I will walk away
Knowing that our love
Survives another test of faith
You and I can walk on water
The river rises, we rise above
It may not look that way right now
Trust me baby, this is love

Here forever, there's nothing I want more
Our day is coming
And we'll reach that peaceful shore

When this trouble passes over
You and I will walk away
Knowing that our love
Survives another test of faith
You and I can walk on water
The river rises, we rise above
It may not look that way right now
Trust me baby, this is love

One more mountain ain't so wide
Trust me baby this is love

I just want to mention here that my husband's sister just passed away today. We're heading to northern Quebec tomorrow morning for her funeral next week.

It's very hard to leave my brother right now. It grieves me to have to leave him alone like this. He's seeing the cancer specialist on Wednesday, then will probably start his chemo treatments very soon after. I hope we will be back home in time to help him through those first treatments, especially driving him to and from the appointments.

My husband needs me too, though, and that has to be my first priority for the next week or so, to help him through his ordeal.

So I won't be able to be here much over the next two weeks. I'll be able to get online once in awhile, and will be reading posts and trying to keep up-to-date with everyone and everything going on here, but won't be able to post much in the way of responses.

I'll miss being here. This is a quiet refuge in the middle of the chaos, an oasis. But I will carry you in my heart while I'm away, and I know that God continues to bless me through your prayers and thoughts!

Hi, Eagle Heart: I am so so sorry to read of your sister-in-law's demise. My sincerest condolences. These days are really trying times for you and Cathi. Sometimes when we think that we cannot accommodate new shocking realities, more are thrown our way. In this condition of profound vulnerability, I join others and bow humbly to God in prayer that in moments of surrender to His Will it becomes the pivotal instant when He sanctifies with the strength, peace and healing so badly needed in the present times. God bless you. We are with you in spirit and prayer.

Eagle, like Mom would say, "When it rains, it pours." I am so grateful you have your faith during these difficult times. Please feel the power and strength of your boomer sisters as you use this time to be there for your hubby. I'm sure your brother is stronger than you think and will miss you, but knows you are where you need to be at the moment. Happily covering you and your family in prayer with love! Stay focused on Him and His will for your life...as I know you do.

Oh honey, I'm so sorry for you, your brother, and your husband. Our faith in God, even strong faith such as your own, can be tested under the weight of so much coming at us at once. I pray that your sweet brother understands and I'm sure he does. If he is anything like you, he's faith in God will make him strong! It will sustain him while you are away. Hold fast in your faith and find peace in God's promise to us all. Whenever you can, keep us updated. Your family here will be holding you all in prayer.

Much love, JJ

Sharon, my deepest sympathies to you and Andre.
((HUGS))

Eagle, may the Spirit of Love guide you through these difficult days. I prayer for your brother's health.

Just a quick update, from northern Quebec. We`ve been here a week, and are leaving tomorrow for Quebec City. Then back to Ottawa on Sunday or Monday. It`s been a very peaceful week here, full of family - and amazing food (my SIL is an awesome cook!). The funeral for my other SIL was yesterday. The church was packed, and hubby really enjoyed meeting so many people from his childhood days.

I`ve been talking with my brother every evening. He`s starting his first chemo treatment next week, and will be going for chemo every 2 weeks for the next 7 months. It`s going to be a long road, but we`re staying positive. We`ve heard from a lot of people with Hodgkin`s disease who not only survived but are still thriving decades later. So we`re very hopeful. Some have even told Gary that they had very little reaction to the chemo. Everyone reacts differently, but every positive thought gives him more encouragement to face this ordeal. He`s already thinking he will see what the chemo does by way of side effects and may decide to go back to work in a couple of months, taking just the time he needs after each treatment.

Thank you all for carrying us both in your hearts and prayers. We feel your care. This past week has actually been very restful for hubby in particular. I`m a few pounds heavier (oh, but it was worth it!), but hope to shed those fairly quickly when we get back into the fray of our day-to-day lives! Thanks again!

"See" you in a few days!

Eagle, thanks for jumping in with an update. I've been thinking of you, hubby and your brother.

You are wise to stay positive. Can't wait until you are home and in front of your PC on a regular basis! We miss your voice!