The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a
"doggie" bar having a drink when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says,
"Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence, will get to take me out on a date!

So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese."

The Collie says, "That's not good enough."

The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese."

She says, " That's not creative enough."

Finally, the Chihuahua says, " Liver alone..........cheese mine."

OUT LOUD! That was so cute! MORE! MORE!

JJ

More you say! I have a million of them!

Frog Story (GROAN)

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name
is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to
get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how
much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000.00.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his
name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and
that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000.00 is a substantial amount
of money and that he will need to secure some
collateral against the loan. She asks if he has
anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a
tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall,
bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to
consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called
Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and
wants to borrow $30,000.00. And he wants to use this as
collateral. "She held up the pink elephant. "I mean, what
the heck is this??"


(Are you ready?)


(Are you sure?)






The manager looks back at her and says, "It's a
knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan.
His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Whatsamatter with you people?

THIS STUFF IS HILARIOUS! I LOVE IT! LOL! You are on a roll. I'm sitting here laughing my butt off...and that takes some doing, let me tell ya

Keep um coming girl!

Do I dare try for a third!!? What the heck!!



Three vampires went into a bar and sat down.
The barmaid came over to take their orders.

"And what would you, er, gentlemen like tonight?"
The first vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood."

The second vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood."

The third vampire shook his head at his companions
and said, "I will have a glass of plasma."

The barmaid wrote down each order, went to the
bar and called to the bartender, "Two bloods and a blood light."

OMG! I have a new sidekick! Girl, grab your stuff and move to Alabama....I need you! LOL!

Cookie, these are delightful! I especially ROTFL from the Patti Whack one. Thanks for sharing these! It's fun to laugh.

JJ, glad you liked the jokes! You certainly made my day laughing at these jokes because I think YOU....Da Queen....are so darn funny!!!!

And back at ya girl...I'm like Eagle...it felt good to laugh out loud! Maybe when we have our big Boomer Convention, we should have a "laugh off" and the person telling the best joke would win a great prize...eh?

Forget it...you'd win. HA!

JJ

Oh my goodness, these are so funny!! And clean! thanks for sharing, Cookie.

ps The Queen wants you near her, not just because you're funny, but she's probably hoping you're an OREO