Thanks everyone. I wore my hair a bit longer and colored it while married, but after everything that happened with that and the pending divorce I realized I really didn't have a clue who the real me was anymore. So I went drastic and cut my hair shorter, closer to the way I wore it before married, and have let all the color grow out and be cut off. Now at least this part is the real me--I may not like the gray hair and such, but I felt like I had to take me back to an empty page to rediscover myself.

I am finding that every aspect of my life is going to have to be rebuilt--accept my relationship with the Lord, my son and my family. Everything else has to change. The job, where I live, my clothes--I wear jeans and t-shirts to work now, but I am going to need a good job with benefits now, that's going to require major changes in clothing and even my attitude, how I eat, what I eat...everything. I get so tired just thinking about it some days I just want to stay in bed!

I keep telling myself baby steps, one day at a time but it's overwhelming. How did I get to be 49 and have my life be such a train wreck?! I never dreamed my life would turn out like this...

OK deep breath...end of pity party.

Shoes would help change some outfits. Currently I wear (very worn) tennis shoes with everything. Having a casual leather shoe that would work with jeans or khakis would make an outfit look a little dressier, maybe I can catch a two for sale at Payless Shoes or something.

The hair color will definitely be something I will go back to when I have the $$. But I want to make sure I can afford to maintain it. The last thing I want is to end up with 'race stripe' hair because I can't afford a touch up.

Any other ideas on little steps I could take besides adding a couple pairs of shoes that might help dress up me up a bit?