Mine knows how to use a hammer...it isn't everything.

[ March 15, 2006, 10:38 PM: Message edited by: Bluebird ]

LOL, Bluebird.

Mine was out at the bar again tonight then went home to HIS huge house. He called me this evening and I didn't want to answer the phone, but, of course, I did....I wasn't very nice to him. He got a 20 somethings phone number last night right in front of me and downloaded it in his phone. What am I, invisible???!!!

I'm feeling lonely and abandoned tonight, but at least I didn't drink...

I'll find myself again. Maybe someday I'll love myself enough to attract a nice man like the husband who passed away.

I think I married this a**Ho** because I failed to save my husband's life and didn't think I deserved anyone else as nice as he was. I will always wonder if I could have saved his life but the coroner said there were too many complications surrounding his heart attack like a massive blood clot in his caratoid artery.

I miss him terribly.

Number5...when you reach your point of"no" return, you will question your "putting up withs" and wonder why the heck you put up with them. Until that time, no one can convince you to do anything. I am going to pray that your situation works out in your favour.
I am sending you a gentle hug for your lonliness. I am so sorry you lost your husband.
chick

Thank you Chick,

I'm not holding it together very well today and I think I'm about to lose my job as I was late again today. Took GD to daycare and my veh is the only one my daughter, GD, step-daughter, and I have to transport us to jobs, appointments, daycare, etc.

I'm going to smile today at those who are around me. I'm going to accept whatever happens to me and be thankful that God sees me and knows where I am today.

I don't expect special favors at work. I was late again and they are very strict. I may be out pounding the pavement again today looking for another job. Someone told me about OneSource, an agency that helps with education, training, etc.

I've been thinking about going to school to become an LPN then maybe a RN. I'm probably too old for anyone to want to invest in my education and new career though...Lots to think about.

Dianne,
Is being a control freak part of the abusive personality? Being a nervous wreck type when they think they are losing control? Calling again, again and again and leaving nasty messages when they can't reach you on the phone? Thinking they have to micro-manage everything in your life to include who you are friends with and care about?

He knows I communicate with you all and I can't even repeat the names he calls you all as a collective group...


Are any of these traits of an abusive person?

Yes.

Number 5,
Oh, sweetheart...yes, you are with an abusive person. Large hugs. I wish I were there to wrap my arms around you and let you cry it all out.

Is there someone near you who you can talk with?

It sounds like he is an alcoholic, or at least has alcoholic tendencies. That's a whole system in itself. It's what I lived with for years.

I'm a life coach and willing to provide free support to you if you want/need it. I can even call you so you don't have the phone charges. As I said, I've been there. And I am no longer there. I am also perfectly comfortable with your viewpoints.

Please take care of yourself today in any way you feel is possible.

With love and support.

Mine has control tendencies but he's always done it in a passive aggressive way (which I didn't realize till this past year). It bothers him that I talk to all of you and have other friends and interests, but he's not obvious about his annoyance.
I've even seen his jealous side when I spend time or share an interest with my older kids...

Number5, domestic violence is more about control than the abuse itself. When words no longer control a woman, the abuser will often escalate into physical violence.

It sounds like he's in more of a panic and jealous mode except for the nasty messages...that's verbal and emotional abuse.

It's strange because he doesn't want to be with you but wants to be sure you have no life without him. This tells me he's still emotionally involved with you and doesn't want to turn 100% loose. I think he's afraid.

My husband doesn't understand how or why we connect on this site but he's never been jealous.

Remember: The base of control is fear.

Number5,

echoing Bluebird - a resounding YES.

Searcher