Number5,
I think all grief is about the loss of a dream. I think losing the dream is part of what makes losing a child so horrific. We have such great dreams for our children.

From the time we are little girls, the dream of a loving marriage and family is placed in our hearts. To give up that dream is incredibly painful. And each time we lose the dream, the more painful it becomes. Writing can help ease the pain.

I'm working on a book about strategic planning for writers and I think the physiology of it applies here. Physiologically, taking a dream from an emotional dream in the right brain through the logical left brain then to the physical execution of the hind brain can relieve the overwhelming nature of emotions. Allowing emotions to emerge without constraint can make them less painful.

Writing can only help. Write down the dream then write down the logics of why finding that dream did not work out. Don't think, just write. Write it as images. Write it as poetry. Sing it. Don't fight the emotions, just write them.

That's a part of something a friend who is an art therapist does. It might be worth a try.

smile

Number 5
See? You are already on the right track talking about writing what you hate about him and how it is not such a loss of someone who treated you badly...You deserve a life of happiness as we all do....We only pass this way but once....I used to post alot of notes on my mirror in the morning...the one I liked best was
"This is the first day of the rest of your life...LIVE IT!"....don't let him get you down and go one day at a time...you WILL get thru this and be stronger....Hold your head up high!!
Karen C

Number5 did you have a chance to look up the word BLISSFUL for the new screen name you wanted to have.

Peace and love, Bliss (aka #5). The ladies have given you lots of great advice. I'll keep sending love your way....