Oops! Bottom line, I realize I may be too comfortable in the role as victim and need to find out how to overcome that and become a whole person again.

You all are helping me a lot as I share my feelings thoughts and frustrations. Your input is very valuable to me as well as the caring and comfort I've gotten from so many of you.

Have any of you ever adopted a dog from the pound who has been tortured? They will roll over on their backs with their feet up or blink or flinch when you come near them? Do they ever get comfortable and feel safe again or are they forever scarred?

When does a human stop flinching, blinking, flushing? How do you get to an upright position with your head held high and don't feel intimidated by anyone anymore?

The word "dingbat" still comes to mind, all the titles and insults. My weight fluxuates and I've been anorexic. But, I know who I am in Christ and that he sees a perfect, wonderful human being.