I think sometimes "co-dependent" can be an overused term! LOL We do seem to like labels! I'm pretty independent as well, but I have a great tendency to want to step in and do someone else's job for them, far too readily. I like the book, "co-dependent no more," even though it's over a decade old. It really brought forward the truth of what I was dealing with.

Of course, those of us who are mothers have some of that built in! My son, who has been on drugs for most of his life, has definitely taught me what I don't have control over. It's still difficult to let go and let God. But I'm practicing being in the "now," doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

When I was living with my ex- and I was spiralling out of control (I wasn't a particularly nice person at the time), it was a different situation. I had to grow up a lot. In the end we separated because he didn't want to look at the reason he drank so much. Our relationship is o.k. now; we can joke about things and he knows that he has avoided looking at things. I can only imagine his pain -- it must be really deep. But my living with it and trying to "fix" it didn't help me or him, or my son for that matter.

Sorry for rambling...I'm pretty passionate about this stuff!