Number5, your last comment about never feeling older than when you are with him. Remember that. He's a dream squelcher. Stear clear.

Casey, send your women friends here. I'd love to meet them.

Never let a man or anyone else tell you that you're worthless and your dreams are garbage. That isn't true and it took me 50 years to realize it!

I am who I am
God made me this way
I am who I am
I'm just me.

Sherri

Dotsie, thanks for the invite, but neither are online -- too busy living!

Number 5
I was in a marriage for 10 years...I met him when I was 16, married at 21 and divorced at 30!! He used to tell me all the time that I was worthless and that if he left me I would be all alone and nobody would want me....That was over 26 years ago!! I prospered....went back to school, went to work and now I am living alone and single...
Do not let any man tell you not to have your dreams...They are yours, and yours alone....Share with your sisters here at BWS but only share with him if you want to....
Yes...we all are going to die someday...that is a fact...but you should live each day as if it is your last. I had a aunt who died at the age of 94...I used to think that she must wake up every day and think it might be her last...but you know what? It never stopped her....she did have a stroke shortly before she died..but up to that point she was still doing crossword puzzles.
Sooo have fun with life...and live it as you want!! Verbal abuse is abuse none the less so don't be a victim to him anymore....
Kasey C

I'm getting there casey. I've let him throw down the gauntlet. He has moved into his own home just a few blocks from me and has said that he will only pay rent on the house the girls and I are living in until July 8th then we have to find somewhere else to live.

He has said that when his lease is up in a few months he is heading to a retirement community for postman. No children allowed to live there and only brief visits. No room for family to come and visit-they have to stay at a motel.

I love my husband, but there are so many things wrong with our relationship that I'm having to watch its slow demise and it hurts.

What do you love about him? That might be a good place to start and examine what you get out of this marriage. I had to do it with the ex. It's an eye opener!

Number 5
I agree with Dianne? What do you love about him? Start writing down the pros and cons of your relationship/marriage...It helps clear the head and gives you a better perspective. When I got divorced it was very hard because I had a 5 & a 2 year old and found myself alone...He did NOT pay child support....until he was forced too...
A divorce is just like a death in that you feel the loss, the remorse and you greive for what could have been....but THEN you come to the acceptance of it and you will feel like a NEW woman..I promise you that!! Nothing happens overnight but you said you had your own dreams so stay with that and let those dreams bring you comfort......
You will survive!!! We are WOMEN afterall...
Karen
****I used to be KaseyC but I thought it could be confusing with another casey on site....after all, even though it was the same name, we had different views...so, now you all know...my true name is Karen.******

Ok, Dianne and karenc, I'll do just that. I'll write down the things I love about him and the things I hate.

I think you're right that its probably saddness for the death of what could have been rather than the loss of someone who treats me like you know what.

While you're at it Number 5, you need to ask him..."What do you love about me?"

My ((((X)))) husband told me that no one would ever love me. Did I believe him? Not for a second.

Today, I have the man who deserves me...the one who loves me 'complete.' We are the self-proclaimed happiest couple in this world.(Used to be in the top 10 but hey...)
My biggest fear is having to live without him....if he goes first. Let's don't go there.

I am praying that your situation changes for your and your familys sake. It is so difficult to leave a marriage no matter what.

chick

When I was in the same boat as you number5, I kept a journal and read it whenever I started doubting myself. These men want us to deny reality and accept their version of it. It's much easier to go along with them, but it will come back to haunt you.

Daisygirl