I have talked to him several times but I just end up crying most of the time. I also told him about consulting a therapist and he don't like the idea. I also told him that I'm planing to tell my mother inlaw regarding our problem. He said its up to me. He told me that every thing change and that he's not the same guy I marry seven yrs ago. But he said he love me more now than before. He said he also want to make love with me but he don't know why he end up watching porn and masterbating.That he also love our family and aware of my feelings and feel sad about it. But if I want to give-up our marriage he will not stop me. I feel lost and so sorry for my self.

Go to a therapist for yourself and not him. Go to a therapist by yourself and without him.

He sounds very disconnected. You can't make a person really care that doesn't want to care. It sounds like you've used every tool that you have available.

Trust me on this: A good therapist will make your life better in all areas.

You know, you also have rights in this marriage. It might be time to weigh the good against the bad and see which one comes out on top. Ask yourself exactly what it is that you're getting out of this marriage. We stay for reasons that sometimes, remain a mystery to even us!

Summer2, your husband needs counseling. He is addicted to porn like any other addict is addicted to a substance. He needs serious help.
If he goes for help, stick with him and help him through it.
Please keep coming here and talking. You need support and encouragement. And a big ((HUG)) always helps.
Peace.

I don't know how to open-up or maybe its better to say I'm afraid to open up with some body in person. I love this man and I still want to keep his privacy and protect his dignity. I guess all I can do right now is to close my eyes and pray that one day the sun will come.If not,.... I hope the day will come that I wouldn't be able to feel anything(pain).Or oneday I will be able to stand and move on by my own. Thank you all for all your time!!!!!

Dearest Summer, pls pls see a therapist - just let him know that it is for you and that if he wants to come along he is most welcome. Your sadness is palpable. If anything, the therapist will help you to find ways to cope and understand yourself. I wish I could give you a real hug, but know I send you one from my heart. Pls heed Dianne's very good advise.

I am no expert in this area, but I certainly feel for you. I have sought counsel before for various reasons. Let me tell you, it really helped alot. I have never told anyone this before, but maybe it will help you (even though everyone may laugh at me). I had hit what you call a sexual plateau. She really helped give me ideas. Told me to read romance novels (okay you all can laugh even harder now). It really helped. Maybe if you spiced it up a little? I don't know. I am just trying to help. Counseling is good. It is good to learn from others who are trained to tell us the answers to help us. I just went to a counselor, she wasn't a psychologist, but worked in the office of one. It was hard to talk about how I felt(embarrassing)but it was worth it in the long run. I wouldn't put up with the porn issue. But that is just me. If he loves you he will stop. I do talk to my husband about problems and sometimes give him ultimatums. There must be a reason he is doing this and not ALL men do look at porn. It isn't something that should be considered the norm. A professional counselor should be able to help. She may even be able to give you questions to ask him to help find some answers. You need this for you. It may be hard to open up to HER (a woman may be easier) at first. I think I counseled 3 times and I had the answers I needed. Your problem may take longer since it is also his problem. If he wants to change that is good. If he doesn't then there is nothing you can do for him. You can only begin to do what is best for you. If after counsel you find that is leaving, then so be it. Do what is best for you if he won't help himself. There is no reason for him to be doing this. There must be something he is missing sexually and maybe the counselor can help. I hope this helps. If I went, I know you can do it.

Also, when it comes down to it, you are the only one who will take care of you. Gosh, my husband used to push me to work really hard and whatever. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down.