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#80307 - 01/03/06 03:00 AM verbal abuse?
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
I was sitting on a bench at the mall the other night while waiting for my daughter to finish up. I was next to a kiosk for one of the phone comanies when I heard a young man cussing out his girlfriend.

He was ticked because she had to wait for someone to appear with a key before she could leave. The "f" word was flying. He was belittling her left and right.

I wanted to tell the young lady to tell him to take I hike, but I decided it wasn't my business. I listened and offered prayers for her self-esteem.

What would you have done?

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#80308 - 01/03/06 03:14 AM Re: verbal abuse?
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
I'm not sure, but I think at this point in my life, I would have calmly approached them and in a quiet, firm voice, would have spoken to them both. I would have said to him that he should respect this woman, if he valued her as a person. I would have said to her, that she should stand up for herself and not take this abuse. I probably would have challenged them both to think about how they really felt about each other. I'm sure they would say "mind your own darn business"! I definitely would be praying for them both.

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#80309 - 01/03/06 03:15 AM Re: verbal abuse?
Daisygirl Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
IMO you did all you could do Dotsie. For all you know he could've turned on you and you could've been in danger. He could've been high on something or drunk. Alcohol makes it worse with some verbal abusers and he also could've been a physical abuser, too. So many could'ves. You just didn't have enough information to do any more than you did.

Daisygirl

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#80310 - 01/03/06 03:26 AM Re: verbal abuse?
NHJackie Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 868
Loc: Merrimack, NH
I think you did as much as you could, Dotsie. Much as I'd like to rush to the rescue in a situation with people who are complete strangers. Not with so many unstable people in the world. If it were someone I knew, I wouldn't hesitate to get involved. If this man really seemed to be a threat to the woman, I might have called mall security or the police.

Please don't take this as condoning this type of abuse. which I certainly don't. But interefering in a situation like the one you described could put you at risk.

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#80311 - 01/03/06 03:49 AM Re: verbal abuse?
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Seems like you and probably the young lady on the other end of that telephone have so much to fear in today's culture. What should be a time of innocent rebellion is becoming a training ground for a lifetime of violence.

The F word is becoming an accepted part of the English language and violence is the approach to any irritation. The F word and the violence it implies is in so many of the movies and music videos directed at our young people. I hate it, but it must be hard for anyone exposed to that type of entertainment on a regular basis not to pick it up.

Many movies, and music glorify anger and violence. Then there's video games that offer practice in commiting violent acts, even murder.

In other words, in today's culture to respond in any way could endanger your safety. Prayer is so often not only all we can do, but the best thing to do.

smile

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#80312 - 01/03/06 03:56 AM Re: verbal abuse?
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Of course the first instinct is to protect yourself, but what if that was your son, cursing out his girlfriend, or your daughter being cursed out?

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#80313 - 01/02/06 04:23 PM Re: verbal abuse?
yepthatsme2 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/08/05
Posts: 816
Loc: Fredericksburg, Va.
I really don't do well in abusive situations such as this...I would have asked him if he used that mouth to kiss his mother.

I know...I have a hard time with my "tongue".
I'm working on it.

You should have been at the convience store with me when a man started beating on his girlfriend.

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#80314 - 01/02/06 04:32 PM Re: verbal abuse?
Di Offline
Member

Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
DH always tells me to walk away and that it's none of my business.

but I KNOW how difficult it is to NOT say something.

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#80315 - 01/02/06 07:28 PM Re: verbal abuse?
NHJackie Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 868
Loc: Merrimack, NH
If it were my daughter or my son or anyone else I knew, I wouldn't hesitate to get involved. But we're talking strangers who could get violent here. I'm afraid I would prefer to err on the side of caution.

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#80316 - 01/02/06 09:47 PM Re: verbal abuse?
Daisygirl Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
I was with a couple of friends having dinner at the restaurant bar, when the ex of one of the women came in and sat down behind her. She made it obvious she didn't want him there and so I asked her if she would like me to call the police - and right in front of him. He did leave, but threatened me and called me a few choice names on his way out. What a catch, hey?

I was surrounded by people I knew, but I wouldn't do the same in a strange place if I was alone.

Daisygirl

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