Here you go!
"Do you uplift your daughter with words of encouragement? Unconditional love is very important. We can never tell our children too many times how special they are and what great talents they possess."
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According to the Domestic Violence Research Center, one out of three teenage girls has admitted to being in a violent dating relationship.
These are very sobering statistics. We as mothers would never intentionally raise our girls to be abused as teenagers or adults.
But what about unintentionally?
There are ten questions we should ask ourselves in order to put a stop to the cycle of dating and domestic violence.
1) When your daughter approaches you with a question, are the first words out of your mouth, 'go ask your father?' When we always put Dad in the position of having all the answers, this can be compared to telling our child that our opinion is not valued or valuable.
2) Do you allow your spouse or boyfriend to make insulting comments about your daughter? If we don't defend our daughter against this, she will learn to resent us more than the male figure making the remarks.
3) Is your daughter allowed to make some decisions on her own without your inference? This is how children learn to think for themselves.
Trial and error. If we don't allow them to learn to make choices in their teen years, they will be reaching out for a leader and having other people make decision for them well into their adulthood.
4) Do you uplift your daughter with words of encouragement? Unconditional love is very important. We can never tell our children too many times how special they are and what great talents they possess.
5) Is your daughter made to believe she should have a career or marry a man who will take care of her? If she has no career and marries a man who wants a stay at home wife, what happens to her if the marriage ends someday? What will she do? She will need an education to support herself.
6) Do you listen when she talks to, or are you just waiting for her to finish so you can speak? This is not a conversation. This is not really listening to what she is saying. We will never know what she is feeling if we jump in with our opinion.
Just because we are adults and the 'mom' doesn't mean we have all the answers. She may not even want answers, but just feel a need to vent.
7) Are you in an abusive relationship yourself? Statistics will back me on this point. If you are being abused, your daughters stand three times the chance of being a victim of domestic violence. Your son has seven times the chance of being an abuser.
Startling facts, aren't they? Even if your children profess their undying devotion to you, they learn to resent you for making them grow up in this type of situation.
8) Do you snoop through her private belongings, not allowing her any privacy? Shame on you! We all need to have a part of our lives that is not freely accessed by others. This is a human right.
9) Do you tell her, 'I know how you are--I know what you are thinking?' Really? Are you God? In truth, you do not know her heart any more than a stranger on the street. Being a parent does not make you a psychic.
10) When she asks if she can do something or go somewhere, is your first response 'no.' This creates a lot of frustration in youthful minds. It is you, exerting control over her life.
It will bring about tension between you and your daughter, plus unnecessary arguments.
Our daughters are to be cherished. If we don't do this, they will seek out those who will. Many times it will be someone who appears to be caring in the beginning but, uses kindness as a ploy to gain their trust. It can be very dangerous for your child.
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