Dianne, as I read your story I could feel my own anger and rage building up. I thought about how I would feel if this were my daughter.

You showed an incredible amount of strength and yes, restraint.

Several years ago a pretty, young, divorced woman was strangled by her ex-spouse. She had restraining orders and carefully documented accounts of his stalking. She took pictures of the damage he did to her modest home. In the end nobody could save her. The maniac was always a step ahead of the police.

What was even more sad was that her death left two small children without their mother. She was also engaged to what seemed a very sweet, handsome fellow who greatly mourned her death.

It was fortunate that your daughter's abuser realized what would happen if he continued to abuse her or even get near her. Some of these men just keep going and going until they achieve whatever bizarre agenda is their intent.

I was a raving maniac in my mind but kept it to myself except for my husband, who wanted to press charges but couldn't. I couldn't tell my sons or they would have found the guy and beat him within an inch of death. It was hard pretending. Okay, it was almost impossible!

When I think about it, even today, I just go crazy thinking of that creep holding her hostage until HE was ready to leave. I can't imagine the horror she went through and honestly, it's one reason she left AZ. She was scared of running into him. If I was there, it would have been him who should be scared.

I think this incidence contributed to her drinking problem and rehab. Oh, and I found out his first name...Brian.

Dianne, do you think your daughter wishes she had handled this matter in another way now?

How long ago has it been since that incident happened?
Any legal recourse now?

It's been about five years ago. I honestly can't say that she wishes she would have handled it another way because she won't talk about it. She'll talk about anything else but not this incident. That tells me she is either too traumatized by it or like most victims, blames herself.

It's been too long for legal recourse and she wouldn't go there. I could...in a New York Minute!

Dianne:

Check out these sites for the fella:

http://www.mayoclinic.org/neurology-sct/12685089.html

http://www.ahsc.arizona.edu/neurology/clinical%20research/clinicalcontact.htm

He went to school in Omaha, I believe. Now girl, you're gonna get me in trouble! Actually, my oldest daughter searched the Barrows site for him but we didn't have a first name at that time. No doubt, she'd like to find him too!

Dianne, I agree with you that this incident triggered drinking. I would believe that she is still traumatized by it.

Don't you think this sphincter muscle thought he was such an important man that he could do this and get away with it?

He subjugated your daughter and brought her down to a humiliating level. (All his intent)!

I'd still see red today and want to kill him!!!

Of course he thought he could get away with it and he did. The fact that he had the nerve to call her afterward shows he didn't think he did anything wrong.

Trust me, these guys always go on to hurt other women.

Didn't you say this man is a neurologist? This shows how an educated man can delude himself into thinking how right his behavior was.

I know he'll go on to hurt other women but I'm also glad your daughter has you. How many poor women stay with these brutal, sick men?

Nearly every week in the news you read that a woman has been beaten, raped or killed by a husband or boyfriend.

Abuse knows no boundaries. It happens with the highly educated or noneducated.

This is the problem. People think it only happens to women who have nine children from nine different men, drives an old, rusted out car with children's fingerprints all over the windows, she's on welfare or selling drugs to survive and must like the violence.

So, when successful women speak out, it can create a shift in thinking. Hey, it can happen to anyone!

I never understood what me winning the title of Mrs. Arizona had to do with anything! My husband started cheating on me and within that year, we were getting divorced and I had to ask, what was that all about?

But, my publisher wanted to use the title to show that it happens to anyone! And, someday I'll share this strange thing that happened that caused me to run for Mrs. Arizona. One of those miracle things!