The problem with we women is we tend to think in the now and not in the future...think of your future when having part of that house sale money will come in very handy. You really should hire an attorney to safeguard your rights.

Ditto to all the above.

How about legal aid? You need a lawyer and someone to support you.

Number5 - glad you are getting that individual banking account, but you need to get stronger. For yourself and your family. This man needs much more help than you are able to give him.....your mind is being clouded by something other than good sense right now , take a step back, take a deep breath, listen to these well-meaning women, and remember, if you are out in the ocean and a storm comes up, it is good that you pray for your safety, but while you are praying, you had better be rowing that boat!!!! This man is not concerned today about you or your family. Only himself. So row your own boat to safety.

You'll get plenty of support from here, but even better, to get brick and mortar help from legal advice and anything else you can get your hands on....

Wishing you the best of this situation,

Searcher

And also, I notice that your thread is entitled, am I thinking rationally? No, Number5, you are not. We all have lapses of rationality, but this time, much is at stake. You are being controlled by someone else and also by your emotions.....try to separate yourself from these and look downward at your life and your situation...is there somewhere you can get emotional support?

Searcher,

I realize now that I'm not thinking rationally. I'm depressed and stressedd and thinking with my heart instead of my head. (a great failing of mine!)

Today I opened a separate checking account and told my daughter I want her to start contributing her income to the household also. She makes more than I do!! But she has court fees, payments to her probation officers (2) now and fines and two classes she has to take.

I don't see an end anytime soon to any of this, but today I'm taking my grandaughter to see the manatees and the sun is shining..

Thank you all for your great suggestions and for caring.

Number5, I've learned that the small joys in life are what keep you going, especially when going through such a bad period. I hope you enjoy your sweet girl and the manatees and forget for just a bit about your troubles.

Daisygirl

Number 5

Rereading what I posted to you, I sound pretty harsh. I don't mean to be. I am only fearful that you won't be able to get out from under all this.....But I see you are taking steps to do just that and you should be really proud of yourself.

Wish I could be with you to enjoy the manatees - and as Daisy said, forget your troubles for awhile and absorb the wonders of your granddaughter..She will give you strength.

Searcher

Number5...
Glad you opened the new account, it's good your daughter will contribute.
May the sun continue to shine upon you.

You've taken a first step, now do not hesitate just put one foot in front of the other as you see this controling ungrateful man disappearing in your rear view mirror. Rationality comes with confidence.

It's nearly impossible to see or think clearly when you're in the middle of a trauma or heart breaking decision. I think your husband is being unreasonable. He needs a brain transplant at this point. How can he put you in the middle like this? That's so the opposite of love.

ditto to all of the above, number 5. Congrats on opening the bank account - i hope you took a good chunk of that $35,000 with you!

Please continue to protect yourself and your future. I'm sure you are overwhelmed with emotion at this point so here's a suggestion - take a couple thousand of that money and go to an investment specialist to invest it toward your retirement. Then ask for advice on how best to protect yourself financially now. I'll be you get some good advice without legal fees.