get it back?

Remember, he's 55. It's been MONTHS and I'm dyin' here! I asked him if our intimate life is over and he said no, but what is happening?

If it is midlife crisis, I hope "it" returns. I'm 48 and never lost mine (sex drive)after my hysterectomy nearly 12 years ago.

Please, someone give me hope! (And no, he would NOT take any drugs)

[ November 27, 2005, 11:45 PM: Message edited by: Di ]

Gee Di, I don't know what to tell you. I am 51 and MOH is almost 56. So far. so good.

When you asked him if your intimate life was over and he said no, did he stop there or did he say anything as to why it is not the same?

Are you sure he wouldn't take Viagra maybe? I hope it works out for you. Keep us updated.

chick

Is he depressed? Have there been any big changes lately, in his personal or business life?

I know I sound like a broken record but please get him in for a physical. One of the symptoms of diabetes is erectile dysfunction. The longer you ignore it the more nerve damage that is done to the sexual organs and then one can almost be assured it's over.

Once you've ruled out a physical cause then you've got to determine the psychological cause and get that issue addressed.

Don't wait!

Amen to all that ladybug has said and is exactly what I would tell you. If he is physically sound and is not being over worked on the job then you need to have a heart to heart and get some answers, not just a NO when asking if its over? Sex does not just stop for no reason, there is something going on....

Di, can't you try seducing him? I don't mean to be flip, but I think you should go for it!

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

D.

(sorry)

Seducing does not work for him. And talking about this w/him comes across (to him) as nagging.

I just think it is age. Plus, he is a burn victim and they say that happens. But is fire was 12 years ago!

I don't think it's his age. He's still too young to be this way.

Now saying it's a result of being burned makes more sense but I would still get him in for a checkup especially if he is over weight.

Trust me, I know a lot about this subject...unfortunately.

For the most part, a man's testosterone levels drop as they get older. Along with those levels goes his desire for sex.

Using a pill like viagra or something similar won't help that, because he doesn't have an erectile dysfunction, just a low sex drive.

The doctor can prescribe a hormone cream that helps boost the testosterone levels. Once a day, he smooths it into a spot, like his arm, or leg. Somewhere it can be absorbed into the body. The level doesn't get an immediate boost, but after regular use, they do start to rise.

Possibly a gentle heart to heart could help. Try very hard to not make it sound like nagging. And, let him know you love him and will support him no matter what. He may be just as confused about all of this as you are, and also ashamed. Losing one's sex drive can be a confusing experience. Of course, he could also feel like he's failing you in some way.

If he's willing, he should talk to his doctor about this. The doctor has seen it all, and can be more objective with him.

Your sexual drive hasn't decreased, and you may be feeling very frustrated right now. Try not to let that come across as you talk to your husband about his issues. Be sensitive and caring. Hopefully, he'll realize that he wants to keep that part of your marriage alive and will be willing to participate in whatever hormone replacement therapy the doctor can provide, if that's what's occurred.

Bottom line, he needs to see a doctor to rule out all other possible causes.