Always wonderful to hear from you, Lynn. And thank you so much for your comments about my essay. Very appreciated. (I'm sure all of the Horn and Hardarts have gone out of business, alas.) I might also mention that I wrote an article about the use of "voice" in creative nonfiction, that's also posted on brevity.com, but it's in a different section. Here is a direct link to it: http://www.creativenonfiction.org/brevity/craft/craft_voice.htm. Thanks! Sue

Sue, why does our generation seem to be so much more willing to talk about what happened to us than our parent's generation?

I just connected with four of my cousins because of my book on abuse and all of them have shared their own horror stories. I was shocked. We all kept our secrets very well.

I'm really going through a discovery process because of these long lost connections.

HI, Dianne, I agree with you that people are much more open to talking about difficult and scary personal issues than past generations. Probably quite a few reasons...one, perhaps, because we rebelled against the "shut-down" 1950s, all tied into the anti-war movement, the women's movement, even, ironically, the sexual revolution, in that we were always so "out there." But am I getting too far afield? Well, certainly the women's movement helped for our voices to be heard. Publishers, for example, publish many more women today than they did in the 1950s and '60s. Too, just think about the revolution in the therapeutic field. Back in the '50s, there were really only Freudian analysts. Very expensive. Very inaccessible. Now there are social workers and therapists all over the place. Probably even television helped us speak out. I remember years ago maybe the first TV movie about incest called (I think) "Something about Amalie." (I may have the wrong title.) But one movie like this helped, I'm sure, thousands of women feel as if it was safe to speak out. And, of course, from that, all the TV talk shows! In any event, I think that's so positive that you were able to discuss these issues with your cousins. And, you're right, this never would have happened years ago. Thanks for such an interesting question. Sue

Sue, I absolutely loved the beautiful way you wrote about St. Thomas.

I have been there a couple times (in the city where you lived) and I enjoyed visiting again with you. Though most of what you were going through was horrid, you still stirred fond memories for me by your creative use of the English language.

While reading all your lovely decriptive words of the island, I couldn't help but wonder how much editing you did to create such perfect visuals for your readers.

Mind telling us a little about your editing process?

HAve you read Stephen King's book on writing? One of my favorite parts is the back of the book where he shows his draft marked up with all the editing. It was remarkable.

I thought someone like him sat down and cranked out novels with little editing. Boy was I wrong.

Hi, Dotsie, thank you so much for your comments about my essay, “Archipelago.” I’m so pleased you like it. Oh, the revision process! I almost feel as if all writing is revision. I revise and revise and revise. This essay went through a particularly “odd” journey in that it began as a poem. In my poetry collection, "Hieroglyphics in Neon," there is a poem called “Nonstop,” which also explores this contrast between the magic of the islands and the magic of New York City, but, of course, in verse. Then, when I began to work on this current project, an essay collection, I wanted to see if I could re-envision this same feeling in prose. So not only did the poem go through numerous revisions, so did the essay.

Generally speaking, when I begin any piece, I first try to take it through a full draft, see what I’ve got, get a sense as to whether I really have anything to say on this topic, whatever it is. To me, this is the toughest draft! I much prefer to rewrite, once I have some words on a page, even if the words are thin and rather uninteresting. Anyway, after this initial draft, I would say that a conservative estimate is about 15 revisions…though certain sections of a piece might go through even more. In terms of revision, the “movement” is from the “global” concerns of a piece (plot, character development, metaphor) down to, well, comma placement, or the seemingly smaller concerns.

Of course, some pieces are tougher than others. While it took me about 3 months to write “Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You,” it took me 5 years to write “Love Sick.” Since I wasn’t sure what I was doing with “Love Sick,” I saved most of my drafts, and I would say I had stacks of paper that, if lined up against a wall, would be about 4 feet long and 4 feet high. Maybe more. That’s a lot of paper! And a lot of revision. And even though of course it’s frustrating at times (and scary that I might never figure this out!), it’s also part of the journey, part of the process of writing. To me, writing is like following a whisper…seeing where I am led. Sue

Sue, are you familiar with Marilyn Van Derber's book and organization? Her book and yours are the two best out there.

Hi, yes, I am familiar with Marilyn Van Derbur and her organization. In fact, quite a few years ago, when I lived in Georgia, I attended one of her speeches in Atlanta. She's an amazing speaker, by the way...very powerful and moving. However, oddly, I'm not familiar with her book, and this is the first time I've heard of it! What's the name of it? Glad to know it's out there, so thanks for letting me know. I'll definitely read it. Sue

Following a whisper. I love that.

I can't beleive it only took three months to write your first book.

Can you tell us why you were able to write it so quickly? Had you rehearsed parts of it in your mind?

HI, That first memoir was just one of those gifts from the universe. And while, no, I hadn’t rehearsed parts in my head, I had been trying to write my story as fiction. So, in that sense, I had a head start. Also, I’d been writing for well over ten years before I started it. So since I’d been writing for so long, I already felt relatively comfortable with the techniques of writing—-many of which are the same whether you’re writing fiction or nonfiction (things such as structure, character development, dialogue, etc.). Still, nothing else I’ve written has come this quickly. Nothing! Usually, it’s a really long haul before a piece “comes to life.” As I mentioned, it took five years to write the second book. Plus, it’s taken me way more than three months just to write a poem. Or an essay!

Review of Miss America By Day: Lessons Learned from Ultimate Betrayals and Unconditional Love by Marilyn Van Derbur, Oak Hill Ridge Press, Denver, CO: 2003. ISBN: 0-9728-298-4-9, Autobiography/Abuse

Marilyn Van Derbur, a native of Colorado, is one of four daughters of a prominent Denver businessman (he is deceased). Her father was on numerous boards and committees, was honored with buildings named for him, and was president of “all the college fraternities in America.” Both parents were active volunteers, donating time and money to culture and civic organizations. Marilyn’s mother would often state that she had the “perfect marriage” and Marilyn was told that she was “blessed by being born into a perfect family.” Marilyn’s life appeared to be perfect, as depicted by the smiles in the pictures she shares throughout the book. Marilyn was crowned Miss America while she was attending the University of Colorado in 1958. When she graduated (with honors) Marilyn was a guest host on Candid Camera and a panelist on To Tell the Truth, as well as in commercials. She also waved to the public while in the Cotton Bowl and Thanksgiving Parades. She chose motivational speaking as her career, and was named the “Outstanding Woman Speaker in America” and was inducted to the “Colorado Woman’s Hall of Fame.” Indeed, anyone reading her story might experience a twinge of envy for all the fame and fortune that seemed to come to her so easily and effortlessly.

Except…Marilyn suffered from physical symptoms including insomnia, tics, ulcers, and panic attacks. When her body and mind rebelled against the constant travel, she experienced full body paralysis, yet doctors found no organic cause. What else might Marilyn be rebelling against? She had to search her mind and spirit to find the answers.

One of Marilyn’s earliest memories is of her mother reading the Bible before bed. Another of Marilyn’s earliest memories is of her father entering his daughter’s bed after dark. What came next was repressed for decades until Marilyn realized that her father had committed incest from the time she was five until eighteen, an estimated six hundred times. All the while, her mother knew. Marilyn shares her split between the “night child” victim in contrast to the “day child” over-achiever. The physical symptoms she had endured were a manifestation of the connection between child sexual abuse and adult ailments.

Marilyn writes, “I had never prayed. I didn’t want a more powerful father and I knew, deep inside, that the Father my mother was praying to when I was a child wasn’t protecting me.” However, when her story went public via the Denver media and People magazine, she asked of a Higher Power: “I want to help…If you show me the way …I will do whatever you ask me to do.” Thus began the next chapter of Marilyn’s life. She writes that it is “my mission to educate judges, doctors, nurses, lawyers, teachers, therapists, and especially parents” about child sexual abuse. Not only does she educate with this book and her speeches, she also helps victims become survivors by sharing her healing journey. Throughout the book, Marilyn also shares with the reader her relationships with her husband and daughter, and the reader relishes in the emotional relief their unconditional love offers Marilyn. Ultimately, Marilyn manages to find peace.

I would recommend this book as an astonishing story and educational tool regarding child abuse and sexual assault.

Review written by Lynn C. Tolson, author of Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor’s Story

Also one of the best books out there on the topic!