Dianne,

I've been thinking about your comment about gossip seeming like high school. I think you're right. There are a lot of people who never grow past that stage. Annonymus, untrue words seem evil to me. The only good news is that when I got annonymus tips, comments or letters, I always ignored them. I think that most people do.

Carol

Judy-
I hope now to answer a question you had for me on page 2, I believe. You asked what I had done through my career and how I ended up where I am.

Since it took 30 years to get here, I will summarize.

My husband and I owned a large, traditional wooden sailing ship. We took people on week long vacations, made movies, commercials, sail training for the girls scouts and boy scouts, participated in the Mariel boatlift. Just about anything that was legal to keep the business afloat (no pun intended). We did this for 10 years. It was an expereience that I would not trade for the world. We had a crew of 7 and when we went to sea for extended periods we preferred a crew of twelve+. Not that we always got them. Many times some were unpaid, they got the sea experience and we got the muscle. Maintain an historic sailing ship, an income flow and a full time crew was a lot of work. My insights and imagination in the workplace come mainly from my skills that were developed under some unbelievable hardships but through that came the creativity to survive. Literally and figuratively.

After we sold the schooner, some time was taken to get adjusted to land again. My next big career move was with a private residential school for juvenile delinquents. It was a wonderful campus setting for chronic deep end offenders from the region in which I live. I worked in this field for the next 20 years and worked liked it was my own business because I did not know any better.

The juvenile justice field is very cut throat and lucrative. It is as big a rat race as the big 500 but nobody really wants to call that out because we are talking about rehabilitating juveniles and that does not sit well with making big money.

Both of these environments were male dominated. But they were vastly different in how they treated women. I learned to "hang" aboard ship so I understood what was going on in the delinquent field. It gave me an edge. I became very valuable throughout the industry and would have been in demand if I wanted to stay and did not sign the contract (non-compete)upon my resignation.

I wanted something different but education based. I was appalled at grown men who had their lips firmly placed upon another man's rear end and both of them enjoying it but acting like it was not happening. Makes my stomach roll. It was all for money and status.

I now work for a state agency that serves the public and private education system in PA. I am in the business end, using my organizational skills. I have great retirement and benefits.

Since I have only been there one month I am still observing and assessing. This conversation has been immensely helpful to me in gathering my thoughts. The timing has been perfect. I work with males and females that appear to get along. The mission of the organization is wholesome and abided. So far, I see an organization that nurtures its people, definetly educates them and tries to go win-win. I hope this view continues.

I am too new to know about the gossip chain but the gossipers will find me I'm sure.

I agree with you that you must speak up with honesty and integrity before things get out of hand. I also believe when you speak it is best to suggest a solution or remedy that can be thrown out but at least it begins discussion on the positive aspect rather than dwelling on the problem.

So sorry for such a long post and possibly derailing the flow here but I did want to answer your question. Thanks for listening.

Lynn

Lynn,

Just wanted to say -- what a wonderful response! I need to think about it and get back to you when I'm more awake. It has been a long day. The only thing I'll say now is that sailing was once a big part of my life. Not business, but family. Unfortunately, it got out of hand. My first husband wanted bigger and bigger boats. And we continued to throw money in those "holes in the water." Money was the biggest prolem in our life even though we had two careers. I should have left him, but he left me to go live by the water. And that's where he is today. He told me when he left that the statistics were that a woman my age would almost never remarry. (I was 48 years old). But he forgot that I didn't worry about "almosts." I remarried before he did and to the wonderful man that is my husband today.
I was determined!!! Said more than I intended, but your talk about the schooner was so interesting. Thank you for that story.

Judy

Lynn,

I just wanted to add that it seems to me that you have done the right thing. It's always gutsy to make a move. Good for you!

Judy

Lynn has lots of stories about life aboard that ship in the professional forum from a couple years ago. They're gripping!

Margaret's story talks about how she is her father's daughter. For those women in the business world...do you believe you got your nuts and bolts, guts for the business world from your mom or dad? If it was your mom, was she professionally employed when you were a child?

Good question, Dotsie. You made me think. My mother didn't work except for a short stint as secretary to a local broker. My dad was a travelling salesman, selling Pillsbury flour to stores in Pennsylvania and West Virginia. He never talked about his work. But I have a brother, six years older, and he first taught me how to get into a college on a scholarship, then how to not lose my scholarship (he'd lost his -- so he knew), then how to get along with guys when I dated, then how to do things right in the work world. I remember he once told me, "Keep your technical integrity." I knew right away what he meant. Some of the guys would exaggerate things to make a point or get ahead.
I did my best to learn from him.

Judy

Dotsie

Interesting question.

It clearly was my father who was my role model in business. It wasn't intentional, but in the seventies when I started working, all the managers and executives were men and many were my father's age, so unconsciously I looked to my Dad. He was a career military man, who worked in the space program after he retired from the Air Force. His lessons were about being smart, tough, fighting for what you believe in and being ethical. He often tried to rid me of my idealism.

When I look back, it was my father who guided my business life, and now that I have retired, I can now emulate my mother, who was kind, supportive, loving and fair minded. It is hard to suppress my tough, aggressive Dad, but every day I relish the chance to be more like my mother, after being like my father for 30 plus years.

Kathy

Hi All,

Here's something I found online today that is very interesting.

Talbots Women's Scholarship Fund, a program of the Talbots Charitable Foundation, will award $100,000 in scholarships to women determined to finally get that college degree.
Five women will each be awarded $10,000 scholarships, and 50 women will each be awarded $1,000 scholarships. All applicants must be seeking an undergraduate degree from an accredited two- or four-year college or university, or vocational-technical school. Only applicants seeking a bachelor's degree from a four-year college or university are eligible to receive a $10,000 award. Scholarship awards are based primarily on financial need and previous achievements for women who earned their high school diploma or GED at least 10 years ago.

You can get applications at Talbot Stores. I always wanted to go back to college for a "fun" degree that would nevertheless provide advantages in life.

Judy

Thanks for the info, Judy. I will check out their website as I don't have a Talbot's near me. The closest college to me is an hour away, but if they gave me $10K, that might cover my gas costs!!

I like the spirit of Talbot's. What a great idea.

Back to the Mom/Dad issue. I've read so much about our generation of women. One of the issues that often arises is how our mothers told us to be independent. Never feel like you have to depend on a man for your happiness, and on and on.

In general, I believe many of our mothers felt stuck. They thought they couldn't get out of their marriages if they tried. Therefore, they tried to instill the whole independent issue in their daughters.

Any thoughts? Remember, I am speaking in general terms.