JJ, that was a good question. I feel like that is what just occured to me. Maybe you too.

I chose to leave but the situation had deteriorated and become one that I no longer could bare or want to be associated with. I worked out a "money deal" and left. I am too young (47) and too poor to retire (how do you pay for those health benefits for all those years?) so I have taken my talents and begun working for a state educational agency that pays a handsome retirement at 62 and will provide the benefits until then.

I hope this new venture allows me to contribute to kids and gives me a break from the constant stress of the corporate world plus the responsiblity the smile mentioned.

Judy, I am working on 8+ women. Should they be employed currently?

Any advice for a late forties woman with lots of expertise starting a new job. What pitfalls to avoid? I have a male boss who appears sane and so far family oriented.

Lynn

Kam,
Isn't it wonderful to be able to be soft. I had to learn all over again. Still not much for crying, but I'm working up to it.

smile

Lynn,

I feel strongly that I'd like to support you. I am trying to put myself in your position. I believe, right or wrong, that I would be totally upfront with your boss about what you are willing to do and what you are trying to achieve. That is, make it clear if you are happy with doing well financially at your current level or would like a promotion. Then tell your boss you are willing to support him if he is willing to support you. It is amazing how well these honest agreements work out. Maybe someone else will have a different opinion. I am always open to difference.

Judy

Back to the tough boss point of view:

Here is how I saw female employees compared to males.

I think it is natural to want to be in control. The male employees tried to control the workplace with forcefulness while the females controlled with weakness.

The men wanted power and they made no excuse for it. I think being a woman, I was a special challenge for them. Some of the males wanted to own the business, but I could guard against that and I did. The men reveled in competition, but the women seemed to be ashamed of it. None of the women ever seemed to want to own the business. They seemed to have too many other responsibilities.

The women were much more successful at controlling, but they wanted so little, usually just more benefits or a small promotion, but they seemed to think they could acquire those things through weakness. They would say they wanted more beneifits because they "needed" them whereas the men would say they wanted raises because they "deserved" them.

Weakness was more difficult to deal with because I wanted to be compassionate, but weakness could jeopardize the whole company. Dealing with government involves meeting difficult deadlines. The women would often volunteer for assignments then not meet deadline. I'm sure they had good intentions, and they always had good excuses such as sick children or demanding mates, but still the deadline would pass.

The men were more likely to say the deadline was unrealistic to begin with and if they were assigned, the product might be inferior. They rarely volunteered for anything, but they usually came in on time with a decent product.

I understood women because I was one. I understood the conflicts between home life and business, but I had to be objective and I dealt better with male employees. I felt they were more honest in their efforts to control. They wanted power and made no excuses.

I think there are ways around all of those issues for women, but they have to recognize and accept them and I'm not sure there are very many women willing to make the sacrifices necessary to get through the glass ceiling.

That is probably not a popular point of view, but it might help someone to see the other side of the coin.

Sorry for the long post. Lots of thoughts on this one.

smile

Smile

Another perspective-- I, and all the other NineWomen, worked for very large corporations for some or most of our careers. We did see some women who worked from weakness and tryed to pull our heartstrings, but we learned it was important to resist the urge to be manipulated from weakness.)

But our (ninewomen) experience was very different, probably because we did work in a bigger company and we were the first wave of women in management positions. We were all very strong women, well educated, results oriented and quite competitive. We had a strong desire to succeed and also to do "excellent" work. (We didn't necessarily start out this way, but by our thirties we were very "career-minded). Many of us struggled to balance our work and home-life but would admit when push came to shove our work often won out over our homes.

Maybe since we worked for such a big company and had other women in similar positions we learned that all women weren't weak. And we did work for some very successful women executives.

I can say that I did have similar experiences with trying to motivate "unmotivated" employees and sometimes they were women and sometimes men.

Kathy

Good Morning!

One day my husband said to me, “Don’t kid yourself. You love power, sweetie.” He was right and I came to accept that. But I liked using my power to help shy people. I went to places in different parts of the country and met with relatively small groups of people. Whenever it was feasible, I’d ask everyone to give their name and say a sentence about their responsibility at the beginning of the meeting and make notes. Then after a while when someone brought up a controversial issue, I’d pick out a name and say, “What do you think?” so-and-so. I enjoyed those meetings and always went back to my office having learned a lot. Sometimes the quiet people are the ones who really understand what is going on.

Judy

I have read that many a man have said that if they had their lives to live over they would have put family first. I've not read similar about women.

Just curious to know if any of the nine women have regrets about putting work above home as mentioned by Kam in a prior post.

Kam
I understand the responsibility of being a woman in management for a corporation. I know how dependent you are on those under you because I was once there. But as a manager, I had no idea of how being an owner "felt."

There is a huge difference between being a strong woman in management for a large corporation and owning the corporation. If you are in managemnent and those working under you let you down, you may not be promoted or even be fired, but hopefully the corporation will survive. Also, you only have your time and perhaps your ego invested, but as an owner, you have such a greater investment and such responsibility.

If you own the company and you fail, even if it is the result of the failure of those under you, not only are you in danger, the whole company is in danger. The jobs of many people hang in the balance and you lose not only your work, but your ego, your heart, and your financial investment.

Sometimes an owner has to be tough on an individual to benefit the whole of the company. And the employees can't know all of the issues involved in what may appear to be ridiculous corporate decisions.

My point is that I don't think corporations are simply unfeeling entities. Decisions are made by compassionate people who must act for the beneifit of all of the investors and employees depending on them. Of course there are mistakes made and the buck stops at the top so there is great responsibility.

I think it would be beneficial for employees, especially in upper management, to consider the company from the perspective of an owner as well as from their own position and understand how the responsibility of owning a business constantly hangs heavy over an owner's heart.

I'm sure there are others on here who have owned large businesses and made difficult decisions. Understanding that it is no one's fault and that owners are not unfeeling ogres might help those who have been displaced by corporate decisions.
smile

[ November 07, 2005, 02:01 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

Dotsie

I for one have no regrets about my choice of work and family. It was very important to me that I be a successful woman and be financially independent and I have a very understanding husband and no children, so the choice was probably a bit easier for me to often chose work as a priority.

But I can say that after 30+ years I was ready to totally change that balance and focus more on myself and personal life.

Kathy

Smile

What can I say? You are right that owning your own business is a big responsibility. Thanks for talking about this so openly.

Kathy