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#7374 - 11/12/05 01:23 PM Marriage counseling?
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Mer mentioned in another post that she wasn't pleased with the way her marriage counseling is going. She thinks they just chat and be constantly reminded to do more things together.

She wanted to know if others have experienced similar. I thought making this a topic might help get some answers.

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#7375 - 11/12/05 01:31 PM Re: Marriage counseling?
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
I say, find another counselor. If you're having problems, just doing more together doesn't help heal the main concern.

My ex and I went to a counselor together and all he did was joke with my husband. I got up and walked out.

Just hanging a sign on your door doesn't mean you're good or graduated at the top of your class.

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#7376 - 11/12/05 05:08 PM Re: Marriage counseling?
NHJackie Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 868
Loc: Merrimack, NH
I've never been to marriage counseling, but have been for individual counseling to several different people. One of whom I left because I didn't think he was doing me any good and possibly causing more harm.

By all means, consider going to another therapist is the one you have isn't right for you

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#7377 - 11/12/05 09:51 PM Re: Marriage counseling?
Kay5 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/24/05
Posts: 20
I am not sure how you would do this, BUT....there must be an avenue to do research on these "professionals"!!???



Anyone have a clue?

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#7378 - 11/12/05 10:41 PM Re: Marriage counseling?
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
There are good and oh so bad in many medical professionals out there. I could be wrong but it seems to me there is better information right here on this site for the women anyway. But if its dual counseling you need check around and if someone you see you find you don't like, "change." Just like shoes, you try them on first...You don't owe any counselor you might try out your business...

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#7379 - 11/13/05 04:09 PM Re: Marriage counseling?
NHJackie Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 868
Loc: Merrimack, NH
I believe the rules for who can be a practicing mental health counselor varies from state to state. Here in NH, up until a few years ago, the profession was completely unregulated. People were setting themselves up as couselors who had absolutely no credentials at all. While this is no longer the case, you still have to be careful. The guy who tried his best to destroy my mind completely had all sorts of degrees. He's also out of the profession now.

Advice from friends is always helpful, but sometimes you get to the point where it's not enough. When you don't like yourself anymore, nobody, no matter how much they love you, is going to change your mind. YOU have to decide to do that. And sometimes seeing a therapist can help.

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#7380 - 11/13/05 06:09 PM Re: Marriage counseling?
LSmith5434 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/02/05
Posts: 370
Loc: Washington State
My husband and I went thru three marriage counselors. I liked all of them, but afer about six sessions with each one, my husband told me they were picking on him, and he refused to go back. Golly......I wonder why he thought they were picking on him? I found my own therapist thru one of the marriage counselors. I've been with her for almost three years. She worked at the same hospital as I did in the Psych. unit, and she's very well qualified, plus she can prescribe meds. She's the kind of therapist I love. She tells you like it is! No playing around, and I need that. She'd tear my husband apart, which is ok with me, but he'd never be able to take it. Oh well.............
Lynne

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#7381 - 11/13/05 07:56 PM Re: Marriage counseling?
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
I guess the counselors told him what he didn't want to hear, right Lynne?

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#7382 - 11/13/05 08:04 PM Re: Marriage counseling?
Daisygirl Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
When my first husband and I went to marriage counseling, she also "picked on him" (poor baby) but the counselor later told me that she saw him the day after our first session in a car with another woman. Just the day before, he swore up and down that here was no other woman.

I kept on seeing that counselor and she helped me a lot, but after about 2 years, I discovered that she did not keep confidences and I couldn't go back to her.

Daisygirl

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#7383 - 11/13/05 10:24 PM Re: Marriage counseling?
LSmith5434 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/02/05
Posts: 370
Loc: Washington State
Bluebird....you hit it on the head! He is a very self centered, self righteous man, and will never listen to the truth about him. But that's his loss, not mine.
Lynne

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