Lynn wrote: "I censored myself to the point of silence. I was thinking about how self-revealing I am these days. Yesterday I was telling myself to shut up because I am too revealing"

Oh Lynn, if you only knew how much of a wonderful difference YOU have made in my life over these past months! It is unthinkable to think what I would have missed if you had indeed censored and shut yourself up...your signature is Love and Light, and that is what radiates from you in every post, every thoughtful word, every story, every self-revealing glimpse of Lynn. Thank you for not keeping silent...I for one have been deeply blessed by your presence in my life.

Wow, Eagle, back at you. Thanks too Francine. LLL

Lynn wrote, "What I realized is that it is no longer about me, but what can I do for another?"

Beside being a wonderful way to live your life, I believe this is also a path to recovery. When you are struggling with panic, I think it is easy to become completely self-absorbed, for what feels like your very own survival. But if you can step out of that world, if you can help/care for others instead, I believe it can help in so many ways. Panic often leads to isolation and sometimes agoraphobia. Helping others, wether it be at a hospital, a soup kitchen or a your next door neighbot, taking the focus off of yourself can sometimes help to put your own fears into perspective.

Jeanne

Jeanne or Julie, can you please walk us through a situation when you felt panic creeping in and managed without a full blown panic attack? Can you share some coping mechanisms?

Dotsie,

I'd love to.
My panic attacks began at the rip old age of seven. Over my life I developed "coping strategies" which, basically, allowed me to live a sort-of normal life. However, coping often means catering to your anxieties, (which is what I was doing).

Over the years that can mean you do less and less socially (the incredible shrinking world is what we called it in the book). Coping strategies that worked for me as a young girl, no longer worked as a young woman, so I developed new strategies, such as, abusing drugs and alcohol. When I was at a very low point, I met the man who would become my husband (and still is 26 years later). Although he didn't really understand my panic (then again, neither did I), he tried to help me, while also gently nudging me towards a larger world.

I maintained, and we started a family. It was around age 30, when I had three small children that I really began spiralling downhill. Suddenly, my panic attaks were becoming more frequent, and I was being haunted by obsessive thoughts. I was terrified I might lose control and hurt my children, or do something completely inappropriate, like take off my clothes at the grocery store, or suggest a lewd sexual act to my local butcher.

Each time these thoughts even flickered across my mind, my heart would leap and the panic would begin. These thoughts terrified me, and I was afraid to share them with anyone, certain my doctor would have my kids taken away.

But finally I did share, first with my husband, who convinced me that I would never do anything to hurt the kids, and later to a psychiatrist who basically told me the same thing. He explained that I was suffereing from a form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder known as "Specific Obsession" which comes in the form of an impulse. He explained the difference between my fear that I might lose control and commit some unspeakable act and someone suffering from delusional thoughts who might actually act on their thoughts.

And Imagine my surprise when I was researching our book and discovered in the Diagnostic & Statistics manual of Mental Disorders the definition of Specific Obsession. It reads: Aggressive or horrific impulses, e.g. to hurt one's child or to shout an obscenity in church, and sexual imagery (e.g. a recurrent pornographic image). I had experienced all of these. And yes, it helped immeasurably to know that what I was experiencing had a name, and a treatment...and that I would never do what I feared doing.

I began medication and left therapy. After a few years I went off medication and my symptoms returned. I went back on medication, returned to therapy, and made some lifestyle changes. I began exercising everyday, going to bed earlier (and on a schedule). I began meditating and doing yoga, and eventually I returned to church. I began practicing the techniques of Dr. Claire Weekes, which is basically not fighting you fear, but accepting it. Which means, letting it overtake you, letting whatever will happen, happen, however horrible you fear it will be. Of course, after 10 years, nothing horrible has ever happened. I have been off anti-depressant medication since 1998. (I still carry my xanax in my purse.)

If I feel the first flutterings of panic, I take a moment and try to figure out why. Then, I begin breathing, abdominal breathing, I visualize my breath as a white ribbon that flows in through my nostrils down to my abdoman, turns over then follows the same path in reverse. At the same time, I let the panic come, I don't try to stop it.

This isn't a quick fix. It slowly began to work for me, each time better and better. It's also not a bad idea to do it for a few minutes on a daily basis, or in meditation, to become familiar with the feeling.

That's my story...well, sort of a Readers Digest version really. I hope it helps.

Jeanne

Jeanne,
And everyone else...thank you so much for sharing all of this. While I don't suffer from the panic attacks and the other anxieties mention, I have caught glimpses of situations mentioned that felt familiar...Personally I think you ALL are very brave and show such great courage and strength. Just my outside observation. I'm reading and absorbing, even if I'm not posting. Thank you so much for being here!

JJ

In response to a private message I recieved...

The writer of the message is taking the anti-depressant Paxil, and was wondering if she might ever be able to go off. When she has tried reduing her dose, she gets "shaky."

The medical answer for this is...unknown. Some people take anti-depressants for a year, some for a few years, some for ten years, and some for their entire life.

My personal opinion is that it depends on many things, most importantly, the length and severity of the illness. But, perhaps it's the old nature-nurture dilema again. Perhaps if the illness is due more to nature, the medicine will always be needed.

I had a good friend who never experienced a panic attack until she was about 40. She was going through some very tough things in her life about that time. Her doctor put her on Prozac. Then slowly, the tough times came to an end, and she made some changes in her lifestyle too, like resuming her daily practice of yoga (which she had done for most of her adult life). She went off of the drug about 2 years later. She has been off for a few years now. She will occasionally use a xanax, but for the most part she's panic free.

Another person I know, struggled with panic from a very young age. It was very severe for many, many years. For this person Prozac was a miracle drug. It completely gave him his life back. He has no plans of ever going off of the drug.

I understand the desire to not take medication. I didn't want to be taking a drug for the rest of my life, but I certainly would have, if the panic returned. The first time I tried to go off of my meds, it was simply because I didn't want to be taking medicine anymore, not because I really didn't need medicine anymore. Finally, years later, after many changes and virtually years without panic, I tried again, this time, because I felt ready. And I went off very, very slowly.

I did have a time in my life, which was my worst time, when I always felt anxious. Every moment of every day, I think. It was awful.

And if someone needs to take this medication for the rest of their life, what's wrong with that? My cousin will take her insulin the rest of her life, my son will take his asthma medication the rest of his life, my father will take his heart medicine...you see where I'm going with this?

I hope I answered the question and hope to hear from you again.

Jeanne

Hello everyone,

In a previous post I mentioned a technique that I use when I feel the onset of a panic attack. It is difficult, in a short post to do justice to something as important as a recovery technique. The breathing technique that I was explaining is detailed at the end of Chapter One in our book, and it is called "The Panic Waltz."

In the book we use dance steps to introduce the reader to the recovery techniques that worked for me. As I stated earlier, these are based primarily on the techniques of Dr. Claires Weekes. In addition to the panic waltz we have, the foxtrot, the tango and the swim.

Part of the reason we used dance steps to describe these techniques is because, well, we thought it was sort of cute, but also, when you're dancing with someone, they're your partner, you're holding them close, not running away from them. Just another subtle nudge to NOT run from your panic.

However, I also believe that it's important that one has an understanding of anxiety disorders, as well as some basic information, such as what is physically happening within your body during a panic attack. I believe all of this knowledge is necessary for a sustained recovery. I also believe it aids you in successfully putting into practice recovery methods.

We asked Dr. Charles Stevens, a consultant on the book what the three most important things that someone struggling with panic attacks should do. He said, "Number one is to seek medical or psychological help. Number two is to educate yourself about your illness, and number three is to gain the skills necessary for a sustained remission, such as cognitive-behavior therapy, meditation or counseling."

Remember, courage doesn't mean you don't experience fear. Courage is being afraid...and doing it anyway.

Jeanne

One of the things I enjoyed about your book was the inclusion of other people's stories. I would think that everyone who reads your book would be able to relate to at least one of the stories.

I get Jenna Glatzer's Absolute Write Newsletter every week. She has often mentioned her battle with panic attacks. I was happy to see her story in your book. Her success with Absolute Write proves that panic disorders can be managed. I've been so proud of how she has handled traveling for interviews to write two of her upcoming books.

Can you mention other successful women we may know who also suffer from panic attacks? I think it's important for us to realize life can go on when properly managed with therapy, medications, etc.

My panic attacks happen when I go out of my comfort zone and I am not in control of things around me thus needing a medical excuse to get out of Jury duty recently. I am totally unfamiliar with the downtown area, parking garages and the walk one must take to the court house some distance asway, restrooms (my first priority always)where they are and if there are enough for a crowd of people. I actully would have foind Jury duty fascinating but could not go because I would have lost it, I know that for a fact. Otherwise I am just fine so can't see the need for any drugs....Also one or more of the ladies mentioned their cancer being caued by something they did or lack of faith on thir part. Maybe I'm wrong but I was always taught that God was merciful,loving and caring and that he protected us when he could. I was also taught that the DEVIL caused us illness to test our faith and see if he could make us renounce God for our misfortune...I choose to believe that the DEVIL is the beast causing our misfortunes and God allows it because he must and it gives us the chance to really trust in him and make our faith stronger, some die and I bet they are met with peace, love and light and God with his loving arms outstretched, welcoming them home..