Dianne called Monaco and Monte Carlo "a gas." Well said. When we were in Monaco, Dianne, I remember sitting at the very best table at an outdoor cafe right next to the yacht harbor. Mike and I looked at the prices on the menu, had minor, simultaneous myocardial infarctions, recovered, then announced that everyone in the family would get one half of a "croque monsieur." The waiter was not amused when our family of four ordered two cheese sandwiches and nothing else. I even asked for "eau robinet," tap water, which came to the table in an old Cinzano bottle. We are not the chicest folk on a good day, and these dining faux pas made the waiter want to pitch us into the Med, but I called up the most perfect colloquial French I'd ever uttered, fired off some obsequious compliments about the service and surroundings and turned the waiter to putty. He left us alone.

We ate our cheese rations slowly, because the spectacle in the yacht harbor was mindblowing. Prince Rainer's royal yacht, the size of a small cruise ship, bobbed at anchor, and we watched a helicopter land on its top-deck helipad. Then, all kinds of hubbub ensued as a colossal craft made its way into the harbor's stone entrance. "Les royaux!" people whispered. This yacht was bigger than the Grimaldi family ship, and I imagined there might be some yacht-envy going on from the castle atop the hill overlooking Monte Carlo and the harbor.

An elegant man in a flowing white caftan and Arab headdress, obviously the yacht owner, came out and stood at the stern while the ship's captain turned the boat completely around and steered it into the second most prestigious berth just inside the righthand wall of the entrance. (Prince Rainer's dinghy commanded the lefthand wall.)

A beautiful dark-haired woman and several girls, all dressed in flowing robes of turquoise and cream came and stood next to the regal man. We never learned exactly which country this man was the leader of, but people in the crowd indicated he was from the Middle East. Had I been up on my flag identification skills, I would have been able to tell whether we were looking at a king, prince or sultan of Saudi Arabia, Oman, Dubai.

It was heady, one of those travel vignettes that stays with you forever. We were sharing two cheese sandwiches because we couldn't afford anything else, and we ate them while watching the magnificently ostentatious arrival of one of the world's richest families. Truly a gas!

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A reminder that I'll continue to donate book proceeds to UNICEF tsunami relief until the end of May, when this forum ends. My publisher, www.booklocker.com/books/1451.html , offers the book in both paperback or as an inexpensive e-book that you can download to your computer. Or, order from online booksellers like www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1591134536/ . For signed copy info, visit www.LoriHein.com .

Lori, sweet article. It brought tears to my eyes. It's happened to me too. Both boys.

I love how you are getting the word out about your book. Very creative!

Here's another contact for you:
Carol, a freelance journalist in Baltimore, is also the managing editor of the travel web publication, JustSayGo.com (www.justsaygo.com). Writers are always welcome to submit their contributions. Visit the site to get an idea of what they're all about, and then send your stories to Carol at submit@justsaygo.com. To subscribe to the JustSayGo.com newsletter too, send an email to newsletter@justsaygo.com. CArol is a friend of mine. Tell her I sent you.

Our son is heading to Italy, Switzerland, and France in a couple weeks with the business department from his school. Any hot tips?

Dianne, I think it would be fun for him and his buddies to hook up with your sister.

Hey Lori,
Over the weekend I survived a usualy very boring six hour round trip to my Mom's. We had my daughter and her three kids in the car. Whew!!

I just wondered if you had ever heard of Car-ie-Okie? It's karaokie for car trips. CD's and songbooks with funny lyrics for everyone in the car and instructions for seat dancing. I bought it for my daughter who seems to always be in the car with the kids. They use it all the time.

Yesterday Dan drove and the rest of us sang (Very badly, but LOUD). He was ready to check into the nearest assylum, but the rest of us were looking for agents. I'm pretty sure we're going to be the next Osmonds!

Just thought it might be something to recommend to your readers for those long commutes, etc. It's hilarious fun.

smile

[ May 09, 2005, 12:32 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

Sure Dotsie, if they don't mind walking their legs off! You can eat all you want because you get so much exercise following Linda around. She ran me into the ground.

Lori, while in St. Tropez we found a wonderful outdoor restaurant. I think it was called The Red Sail. Even the female bartender was topless but after a while, you don't notice it anymore. The "menu" was a tour through the kitchen where you could watch the chef cooking and choose from the items and it was some of the best food I've eaten. However, they only took cash and for a lunch tab with just two of us, it was $900. We just about dropped a load!

Did you happen to go to the village of Eze? It was fascinating.

Hi everyone,

Car-ie-Okie. That's brilliant. Sounds like something that would have come in handy on our road trip. (Although I have to admit there was plenty of bad singing going on in New Paint. I'm a chronic crooner, and the kids took to singing songs from the movies they watched on the van's enterntainment system. I endured "Give Dough to the Ethyl Show" from "Dinosaurs" from one end of America to the other.) There's a website called Mom's Minivan that's full of ideas for keeping kids happy while on roadtrips. I'll shoot a message to the editor about our conversation here and make sure she knows about Car-i-Okie. Sounds like something moms in minivans everywhere should know about! I'm also sensing a new blog post topic coming on... Actually, you ladies have given me ideas for many future blog posts.

The next Osmonds, eh? How about the next Osbornes? Maybe you and your clan, smilinize, could star in a reality show in which families on long road trips have to sing their way across the country,with a Simon/Paula-like panel of judges eliminating the worst singing families as they roll through America.

Dotsie, glad you enjoyed the "Eyeball to eyeball" story. I knew some of you would be able to relate. Adam is now nearly six feet tall, but that mother-son moment in the Route 66 Auto Museum was a watershed moment in our relationship.

Thank you for the lead about Carol and JustSay Go.com. I will certainly get in touch, and I appreciate being able to use your name. Your post is timely. I've been falling behind on getting queries and submissions "out the door" lately, and I resolved to focus on that in the coming weeks. Just this morning, I sent a submission (a book excerpt, actually) to Chicken Soup for the Horse Lover's Soul, and I feel good about getting back on track. I spent 20 years in sales and marketing, and I know the importance of having lots of things "in the pipeline."

I'm truly enjoying this thread, too, Dianne. Again, so many topics to get back to. Safety, villas and D.C. coming up. But first, here's the link to the White Ribbon Campaign that I told you about. I can't find the link to my article. The paper I wrote it for archives stories online for only a few months, so it's evaporated into the ether, but here's the link to the organization: www.whiteribbon.ca . The men who join White Ribbon resolve "never to commit, condone nor remain silent about violence against women." There are White Ribbon chapters all over the world, and I know that they work in concert with other organizations fighting domestic abuse. Perhaps there's an opportunity for you to create some synergy with a chapter near Nashville.

Adam saw his first topless women on the beach in Nerja, Spain. He was about five. He stared, considered, then just turned back to digging in the sand. Since then, he's seen topless bathers in Greece, Italy, France, but thankfully we haven't yet been served by a topless waitress. It does, though, quickly become old hat, and you really don't pay much attention after your first few encounters.

And yes, We did visit Eze. Gloriously beautiful. For anyone heading to the south of France, Eze, not far from Nice, is a spectacular medieval village that sits atop a cliff that soars hundreds of feet above the Mediterranean. You wind your way up tiny, cobbled passageways to the top of the town to a botanic garden with rare and unique flowers, bushes and trees. Eze is a must-see.

Dotsie, do you know which parts of France, Italy and Switzerland your son will be visiting? If you could narrow it down a bit, I'm sure I could give your son some recommendations. I've been to many parts of all three countries.

Oooh, a treat. My husband, working from home today, just invited me out to lunch. Cool beans. Talk later.

Lori,
Thanks for your response to my question. Having lived a short while on the Washington-Idaho-Oregon border, I know its a great part of our country. Montana, though, especially Glacier National Park (hmmm...), is one of my favorite places.

Since reading your book and finding you here on "Boomer", I've followed the trail to your blog - and love it. Today's blog is great - the excerpt from the book about the Kentucky horses. Honestly, though, I especially liked your description of Adam's conscious decision to watch Dana be in her element, rather than to put down her or the things she loves. Kids are funny, and it makes me so proud when mine make a solid decision like that.

glacier

Hi, Glacier. Nice to hear from you. And I guess we know where your screen name comes from. We did not make it to Glacier on our Ribbons journey, but I've heard that it's one of the most spectacular of the national parks. I believe there's a road called Going-to-the-Sun Road (that may not be quite it, but it's close) that is a stunning mountain drive. I've also heard that Glacier is a haven for serious hikers, as much of the most dazzling alpine and glacial scenery is in the backcountry and requires some hiking to reach. You must be a hiker?? And, sadly, I've heard that the eons-old glaciers that give the park its name are disappearing, likely because of global warming. We really need to listen to the wake-up call the earth is giving us. I wrote a blog story a few days ago called "Kilimanjaro takes off his poncho" about the near disappearance of Kili's famed snowcap. Read it here: http://ribbonsofhighway.blogspot.com/2005/05/kilimanjaro-takes-off-his-poncho.html .

I'm so glad you enjoyed the book. And, I'm glad you're enjoying the blog, too. I'm having a great time with it, and I've "met" so many people from all over the world through it. The power of the Internet amazes me. People from around the planet have stumbled onto the blog and have become regular readers. It's a thrill and an honor to provide them (and you) with new stories and photos and links every few days. Thanks for your kind feedback.

Now, to the topic Dianne brought up a few posts ago -- villa rentals. (And Dianne, I just reread your St. Tropez-cum-topless-waitress post and my eyes popped out. Lunch was $900 for two?! That beats my Monaco croque monsieur story by a landslide. I think those cheese sandwiches were somewhere around twenty bucks apiece, but a $900 lunch! Wow. Hopefully you had one heck of a bottle -- or two -- of champagne with that dejenuer. Good thing you won the eight grand at the Derby. Paid for lunch in St. Tropez.)

For a wonderful travel experience, consider renting a villa. Don't let the word "villa" scare you off. What we're really talking about here is renting, by the week (some rental companies offer rental periods as short as 3 days), a house, cottage or apartment. There are high-end villas and even castles and wings of castles, but regular folks with regular budgets can afford many of the properties on offer by the "villa rental" companies.

Over the years, we've rented houses or apartments in Nerja, Spain; Menton, France; Moneglia, Italy; Perros-Guirec in Brittany in France; and Polperro, in Cornwall, England.

I can highly recommend the company that we used, Interhome. You can order Interhome's print catalogs or you can cruise the available properties online at www.interhome.com . Interhome offers rental properties in 16 countries and in Florida. In addition to top spots like France and Italy, Interhome offers properties in less expensive European countries like the Czech Republic (Prague is an exquisite city), Hungary (ditto for Budapest) and Croatia (the Balkans conflict is long over, and Dubrovnik, a medieval gem on the Adriatic, is waiting for your visit).

Dianne, I'd love to hear about the company you rented your villa from. Of course, you've got the "Linda connection," so maybe she had an inside scoop on a place?

Another company you might want to consider (or just visit online and dream) if you're going to Italy is www.cuendet.com or its American affiliate, www.countrymanors.com . I haven't booked through Cuendet, an Italian comapny, but I have been impressed by the response I've received when I've asked for information. I always test out an outfit before booking with them by asking them questions via email and rating both their response time and the quality of the response, and by asking for material to be sent via snail mail. If I'm pleased with the way they treat me in the inquiry stage, only then do I go to the next level and consider giving them my business. Cuendet has impressed me, and I've got their fat, tempting catalog of gorgeous Italian properties sitting here on my desk -- sent to me by first-class airmail from Italy.

If you cruise Interhome or Cuendet, you'll find properties that start in the $400 per week range for two people, in low season (note that in low season, you may have to pay for the heat, which will add to your total cost). Before writing this post, I visited the sites and found houses available this month, May, for two people, in the Arezzo area of Tuscany for $315 and $400 per week. Yes, high-end luxury villas with private pools and drop-dead sea views booked for high-season weeks in July and August can run $4000 per week. But, there are plenty of small gems to be had, and, if you can travel in low or shoulder season (winter can be a fascinating time to immerse yourself in a place and see how the people really live -- and airfares are cheap), you can find houses, cottages and apartments for short money.

And what an experience. Total immersion into a town or neighborhood. You become part of the fabric of a place's daily routine, and you move to the rhythm of real life, not to the often frenetic pace of the tourist who keeps moving and tries to "see everything." You buy your baguettes each morning at the village boulangerie. You go to the local church. You watch the fishermen mend their nets. You get to know the schoolkids who pass by each morning in their uniforms. It's a wonderful, slow motion immersion.

If you like the idea of your own place but need a little support, there's a company called Untours that offers apartment stays and a ground staff to guide you along. I've never used Untours, because I don't need the safety net, and the prices are higher than I can arrange on my own, but the company has a great reputation, lots of repeat business and has been around for a long time. Untours' prices include airfare. You can find them at www.untours.com .

Another long post, but renting abroad is such a marvelous alternative to hotel stays. Worth talking about and investigating.

I can't remember who we used. They offered a cleaning service and even a chef to come into the villa and cook for you, which was cheaper than going out, believe it or not. Unbelievable food. We found that having the chef come in on the first night there was the best way because we were so tired from traveling. It's amazing how cheap it was.

A lot of people buy homes there and rent them out for the better part of the year. It must make their mortgage payments for them too! You're expected to treat it like your home and they inventory to be sure you haven't made off with the family towels, etc. From the books in the villa, we figured the owners were Dutch.

The village of St. Tropez was fascinating to me. The wonderful shops and the people sitting in the restaurants with their dogs was a plus. And the huge yachts tied up along the bay and the disco parties held on the top decks. However, I think they were "trolling" for beautiful women to join their parties, which made me nervous. Not that they would want an old woman like me but because of some of the stories I've heard of women being kidnapped. It was a source of entertainment for the people out walking or having a glass of wine at the outdoor cafe's. Sitting there watching the rich pull up in their boats.

I have put in French rentals on Google and have found some interesting spots. You should note that a lot of homes in France don't have air conditioning and it can get really hot there!

I told my sister about you and she truly hopes you will contact her.

Let's talk more about safety. There are so many aspects to this issue. In my earlier response to Explorer's question about staying safe when you're traveling alone, I talked about my "big three-" three key ways to reduce your vulnerability: Blend in, do your sightseeing before dark, and do what your intuition tells you. These are "big picture" tools for cutting your risk of being caught in bad places or bad situations.

It's so easy to let your guard down when you're on vacation. You're free, away from the stresses of everyday life, you've waited long and worked hard for your trip. But the carefree feeling can translate to carelessness. I've found it helpful to verbally remind myself several times a day, "Lori, keep your guard up." I check in with myself and see if I've done or am considering doing anything that could place me in some sort of jeopardy.

Meeting and interacting with people when I travel is one of the richest aspects of the experience, but I include people in my "keep the guard up" umbrella by reminding myself that trust is earned. I don't have to give trust away or blindly trust anyone. It's so easy when you're traveling to fall into conversations and be swayed by people you meet. You want to be friendly and a good ambassador of your country and citizen of the planet. I've learned to be polite, but unless and until a person earns my trust, I don't have to take a relationship or even a conversation any farther. Sometimes travelers, wishing not to appear rude, allow themselves to be drawn in by people because they think they will appear impolite if they walk away. For women alone, this can be disastrous. Just walk away. If you hurt someone's feelings, they'll get over it.

Once you've got the "guard up, vulnerability down" shtick all set in your head, you turn to the "small picture" steps that you can take to stay safe. I'll suggest a few here, and I'll offer more and also talk about safe traveling with kids or grandkids in separate posts.

Some easy, common sense tips: Wear flat shoes that you can walk fast -- or even run -- in. When you're on the street alone, walk purposefully. Look at maps in private, so you don't stand out as a woman who has no idea where she's headed. When planning my day's sightseeing, I take out my map in my hotel room and write the route and street names to the places I want to visit on a piece of paper. I use this to guide me when I'm on the street. Through the day, I consult my map in "safe" places like ladies rooms', museums, shops, but I try to keep it tucked away when I'm out alone on the street.

Let's talk about pickpockets, the tourist's primary nemesis, beating out even gastrointestinal unpleasantness. Immodium can take care of that, but there's no quick pill for loss of money and documents. Dianne raised the point about child pickpockets in Europe. Pickpockets are everywhere. What can you do? First, remember the "big picture" mantras -- guard up, trust no one -- in other words, approach the street with an attitude that says "I could be robbed by anyone out here at any time." I know this sounds callous, but protecting yourself starts in your head, with your mental attitude. If you go soft, you're an easy target. A target who could become a victim. Be as tough in your mind as the forces out there that would do you harm. Be alert and on guard always. You are not being rude. You're being smart.

Pickpockets often work in teams. One person distracts you while the other robs you. And these teams can come wrapped in packages that might lead you to "trust" them -- teams of children, teams comprised of a woman with children. If someone stops you and asks a question, asks for directions, offers to sell you something, to show you something, to take you on a tour -- your antennae should go up. Someone else may be cutting the strap of your money belt (more on this in a moment), cutting your purse strap, reaching into your pockets. Develop eyes in the back of your head. If someone approaches you, look behind you and to the sides. If another person is near, don't stop.

Avoid crowds. If there's a mime decked out in white grease paint performing in the courtyard of the Louvre, and scores of people are bunched around watching him, don't join the crowd. Crowded spaces and gatherings are fertile ground for thieves. When my mother and I were in Quito, Ecuador, we were victimized in front of a church. There was a religious celebration going on, and we joined the crowd. I felt someone pushing us, and I looked behind me to see a young boy cutting the strap of my mother's fanny pack. I screamed at him, and he ran away without it. When we got through the crowd, shaken, I saw that my backpack had been slashed. Thankfully, all I lost was my Swiss Army knife.

About money belts, fanny packs, purses and backpacks. Wear anything you can't afford to lose under your clothing. If you carry a purse, don't have your money, credit cards or passport in it. You can afford to lose your cellphone, sunglasses, camera, even your wallet in which you've put a small amount of cash to get you through the day. But the bulk of your money and documents should be in a flat money belt worn around the waist under your clothing and tucked into your waistband (I even pin the strap to my jeans so I'll feel it if it comes loose or is cut), or in a hanging money belt that goes around your neck and hangs under your shirt. Visible carriers like fanny packs, purses and backpacks can be entered, sliced or stolen easily. Keep your critical valuables under your clothes. Magellan's ( www.magellans.com ) carries a huge array of travel gear and clothing, and you can find good money belts there.

The only pockets safe enough for valuables are the front pockets of your pants, and even this is a risky hiding place. Men should never carry their wallets in their back pockets as they're used to doing at home. Men's wallets should be up front. Wrap several rubber bands around the wallet to make it more difficult to remove and to create noticeable friction if the wallet is moved.

Before you leave home, make a photocopy of the front page of your passport and get two passport photos taken. Bring these on the trip and keep them separate from your critical documents. If you needed a visa to enter the country you're in, make a photocopy of that, as well. If your passport is stolen, having these photos and copies will expedite the issuance of a new passport. A woman without a passport is a woman without a country.

Another gargantuan post. Let me pick this up again later. Please share any tips of your own.