Hi everyone, I am going to Vermont in August for a week long memoir writing workshop. Sue William Silverman read my book, emailed me, and recommended me for a scholorship to this conference, where she is the memoir writing facilitator. All of the attendees are post-graduates of English, or Literature, etc. I am neither, so I am especially proud that I got accepted based on my book. I am not one to enjoy travelling alone, but I think I'll make an exception for this! As for Angela Shelton, I've met her (see my blog.) She has the same cause as I, but her method is different. She is 20 years younger than I, and one of our differences is the use of the eff word, which she incorporates freely into her speeches. (not that age has anything to do with swearing.) A member of her audience in Boulder (where she was showing for the Boulder Film Festival) walked out of the Q/A session and told me in the parking lot that he was offended by the use of the eff word. Whatever gets the message of breaking the silence out is okay with me, it's just not my style. Angela is a master at self-promotion, and has connections in LA, so she is able to get to the big wigs. She recommended me to her speaking agent, but the agent did not even respond to my introductory email. Sue's site: http://www.suewillliamsilverman.com Angela: http://www.searchingforangelashelton.com. Hey, don't you think it's fun that of the two Dotsie has mentioned I happen to "know" both? Dotsie, what does it mean that "she submitted for my book?" I had told Sue that I was going to be the featured author on this site.

Dian, I am so honored to be selected for your project in October. I have done presentations and signings at the YWCA in MO during October, and the correlation of my story to the domestic violence topic went well. One year I did "insidious and escalating forms of violence" which included my father's cruelty toward animals as a precursor to violence against women and children. I intend to get the other books you mentioned. Thank you for including me on this panel!

Dian asked what are my best & worst marketing ploys, which Dotsie had asked too, so I am posting the same answer again. If this is not detailed enough, let me know. ***In response to Dotsie’s question, I’d say my most successful marketing strategy is not a strategy at all but plain old word-of-mouth. Of course, I have to be the one to open my mouth first, no small task for a recovering shy person. Jeannette has joined our forum. I was interning as a social worker where she was the supervisor. Toward the finish of my internship, I quietly said, “Oh, by the way, I published a book.” “What do you mean you published a book and you haven’t told us this sooner!” The support I received from that group of women at the YWCA could not have been planned as a strategy. However, I found that presentations with book signings is a successful strategy. That’s how “A Child Called It” and “Chicken Soup for the Soul” became best sellers: presentations, presentations, presentations, again, no small task for a recovering shy girl. It helped that Mark Hanson and Jack Canfield (CSFTS guys) were already motivational speakers who use Convention Centers as venues! As I complained before in another forum, freebies are not worth it: Did you hear me whine that I’ve sent books as donations to non-profits for their lending libraries and I’ve never received a thank you!!! I gave away a book to CASA, and I swear it was my last freebie. On the other hand, Dianne, (I hope you don’t mind) does not do signings after presentations, and she does just fine in sales, right Dianne? So, if someone else has a tried and true marketing strategy, please let us all in on it.*** I do have "The Frugal Book Promoter's Guide" by a former featured author Carolyn Howard-Johnson, but I haven't gotten into it yet.

Dian asked what my family's reaction to the book is. Dotsie had also asked the question, so I will re-post it: I have an answer to Dotsie’s question, “have family members read the book and if so what was the reaction?” My family’s reaction was the main reason I did not tell my story. My mother, who called me a writer all of my life, used to tell me I should write stories of my “escapades.” She pointed to books by Danielle Steele and said I should be a writer like her. She hadn’t realized that those “escapades” were directly related to having been abused. When I told her the result of my writings included the entire family, she said, “You don’t want to embarrass your poor mother in her old age, do you? I thought you’d write a book, but does it have to be that book? You didn’t paint me in a good light.” She has not read the book, but my stepfather read her portions of a rough draft. Perhaps I sent them the draft to get their permission. I did not want to hurt anyone. I did not think in terms of “They hurt me, so now it’s payback time.” Revenge was not on my mind. A message of hope was my primary motive, and I realized I did not need their permission. In my forties, I accepted that my message of hope and healing was a calling that could serve others, and that calling became greater than whether or not my mother approved. During the visit to my parent’s in Phoenix last week, I brought up the subject of my book to my stepfather. My mother was not in any mental condition to discuss it, but she does know that I “lecture” on violence. I told him my by-line (my passion is writing and my mission is to confront violence against women and children.) His reaction was acceptance of my work, and there is understanding of its importance. As for my older brother, a perpetrator, he read both the rough draft and the actual published copy. It’s funny: he bought it on Amazon. I would have given him a copy. He has realized that he can be a silent partner in my mission to confront violence. If he denied my work he would deny his participation in abuse. He realizes that by telling my story, of which he is a great part, he is contributing to solving the problem of abuse in our society. During the early draft, I asked him if he was going to sue me, and he said, “You are the one who should sue me.” Indeed, I wouldn’t have minded some payment for therapy! My grandmother is 98; she does not know of the book, but knows that I help women in some capacity. My younger brother, who lives near our parents, has not read the book and said he doesn’t have a compelling desire to do so. He does not know what work I do, and I did not make it clear until yesterday, when I wrote him a letter and included my web site. Based on my recent visit with him (in Phoenix) I think he may have a growing interest in reading the book. So, my family might have preferred that I was a writer like Danielle Steele, but they have accepted that I have used my life story to help others.

Hi Dotsie, yes, my counselors have read my book. Both Karens were supportive and encouraging to me about getting this book published. I have been in contact with Karen #1 (who told me I HAD to write my story) since we first met in 1978. When I had cancer, I had a desire to visit several people who had been important and instrumental in guiding my life. My husband and I drove to Utah from Missouri to see Karen, who I hadn’t seen in about 18 years. Our time together was awesome! Everything I had felt and thought about her since our initial meeting still applied. She is a warm, loving, and genuine woman. She now works at a Shriner’s Hospital in Utah, which is just like her to devote her life to the most vulnerable. The second Karen, who I met in the 90’s, uses my book as “homework” to her clients, and has used passages from the book as writing examples to her own writer’s group. Other counselors I’ve known have recommended my book to their clients. I did a presentation at a mental health conference sponsored by Pfizer (a manufacturer of one of the anti-depressants). The audience consisted of about 100 mental health professionals. So my focus was on what a difference they make. I think that is a good idea to speak at mental health conventions. I’d like a speaking agent to set this up!

Hi Dian, thanks for the questions and the interest. Yes, I would love to have a guided journal to accompany the book, and I am currently researching what text I want to include, as well as quotes. And I have done speaking engagements, which I'd like to do as a career. However, public speaking really works my nerves! And, I like to read from the book during presentations. I am no good at speaking spontaneously, and I am losing my ability to memorize word-for-word. Speaking makes me so nervous, but I have done it. I have lots of ideas for other books: a memoir about cancer, a book about my current marriage, with an emphasis on how to trust after trauma, and a book about reconciliation after trauma. I must confess that I am my own worst enemy when it comes to accomplishing these tasks. I watch too much TV, I daydream too much (mostly about winning the lottery and what I would do with the money) I worry too much, I sleep too many hours (9-10) and I am easily distracted. Yet, once I am in the mode, working with the muse, on task and on focus, it is difficult to pry me away from the keyboard. Sometimes even having to pee is a nuisance and an interruption. I just haven't torn myself away from the distractions long enough to get into the writing mode. However, I am confident that I will return to discipline!

Lynn, I don't take copies of my book when I speak. If the organization wants to include a signing, they will order a case or two from my publisher and I'll sign them. I know, I'm not much of a self-promoter but that's just the way I am. I've promoted my book in other ways but I've never felt right walking into a speaking gig, carrying a box of my books. Probably because I've known more than a few money hungry speakers that only concentrate on the almighty buck. I hate book store signings with a passion. Just hate them!

P.S. You don't like shoes? Are you a communist or something? My word...

Hi Dianne, I was expecting a response about the shoes. I think my feet have recovered from the aches and pains of the low-heels of yesterday. Yeah, I saw that you don't like signings, but you can present with a passion without having to use notes. I like signings, but don't like the speaking, although I do it. Maybe if I had a publisher like Hay House that sent an order of books. I buy my box from Authorhouse, then sell them at retail, and the shipping. I have to carry a box with me in order to sell. Why do you hate book store signings? And how do you get your speaking gigs: through the publisher or word-of-mouth?

If I didn't have a publisher, I would ask the org. before I came if they wanted me to bring books with me or send them beforehand rather than have to lug them in with me. Get a committment from them before I ever arrived. That's what I'd do anyway. I could make more money if I brought my own books, so that's a consideration.

There is a book titled: Jump Start Your Book Sales by Marilyn & Tom Ross that gives a lot of advice for self-published books.

Use the Internet. Go to every domestic or child abuse site you can find and contact them and let them know you're available for presentations. I did a three day conference in Napa because of one woman who gave my book to a shelter there. Word of mouth is great!

You might consider joining organizations that support your cause too. That helps.

I'm not sure why I hate book store signings. My publicist said they didn't really work that well and never booked me for one. I did one locally when my book was first released and they sold out but after that, I just wouldn't accept any bookings.

If you keep practicing your presentation and get it seriously polished, you'll begin to love the speaking part. I use one word notes in case I forget what I'm saying. But then, I speak like I think, I'm all over the place!